Chaos at the Small Purple House

Annual Family Picinic

2009-10-18T11:48:00.001-07:00

October always means family picnic in Julian and apple picking with the kids.

As a family we have done this as long as my memory runs...Thanks Mom and Dad for all the great traditions and memories!

My niece, the future juggler...and Tbone after picking apples. Some have already been made into a pie, and the rest are going to become a chutney made with apples and dates, that is supposed to be delicious with sharp cheese...favorite in our house!

Feeling the family love...does anybody else see the heart?

I love this photo. Talk about feeling the love.

Ansel, my Dad's puppy.

This year, our friends Alan and his son Carson (Thurston's best friend) joined us, and it was super cool for Thurston. They debated whether or not they were building a fire place or a bridge with collected bark in the picnic area. Fireplace won out, and they were making green tea (mama's recent addiction), hot dogs and rice. They were feeding the food to us and the monsters nearby.

What's gonna work? Teamwork!

The way we get Jay to come to these events...motorcycle ride!

This is the bmw/sidecar bike that continues to be his greatest joy and most evil nemesis.

Sissy with the fancy-schmancy camera.

Driving home.

Pumpkin patch to loaded soon!

Waterfall

2009-10-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

You drive and I am oblivious.
It seems like years.
We stop. We have arrived.
You take my hand and lead me into a forest maze.
In the midst of this maze we chance upon a river.
I am no longer myself.
We, together, are the river.
Flowing in the moment with unknown purpose and destination.
We swirl and twist.
Moving faster and chaotically.
I ebb and flow around you.
I am aware that you too ebb and flow around me.
I sense the immanent waterfall in the turbulence.
We twist and fall.
Tumbling and writhing against ourselves, each other, and everything else in this maelstrom.
Will we remain whole? Or will our molecules separate into the mist?
The glory and anticipation of the pain.
Through the fall, only the thought of life, passion and your touch keep me lucid and in tact.
We crash down.
Yet we live.
The ecstasy of the pain of being alive.
We want to believe that we can direct the flow of the water, but it rushes on through and around us.
We succumb.
We continue to wander on waiting for the next unknown.

Am I talking about my garden?

2009-10-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

It is not new or novel.
I look at my garden and can see how it represents me.
It falls into disrepair in my times of sadness and mental illness.
It is groomed in some areas and overgrown in others.
I have so many plants with thorns to protect my house.
Even in its worst repair people seem attracted to it.
There is beauty and function in it, as well as food to nourish,
yet you must be very careful in plucking the fruit.
There are fences and a gate.
One only has to look through or enter, as it is not locked or unscaleable.
Many do not.
I am curious about those who do.
What attracted them?
Beauty?
Food?
Shade and relief?
The unusual?
I love how wild animals do not even think twice about coming into my garden.
It teems with overgrown and competing life.
The juxtaposition of it all.
The dry and the wet.
The bright and the shade.
The joy and the sadness.
The life and the death.
The beauty and the danger.
The chaos and the order.
The wild and the tame.
All existing together in this small space.
So many lives crammed into this space fighting and climbing higher and higher to touch the sun.
I find it funny that I see the beauty of my garden in its imperfections.
Maybe that is what others see too.
It is interesting that the passion vine entwines everything in the yard.

My funny kid...

2009-10-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

I was downloading pictures from my cell phone and came across these.

They are from this spring (april-mayish).

I love my freaky ny dolls, tom waits loving kid.

Still here

2009-09-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

I am still here.
Many photos to sort through.
Colds to get better from.
Hugs and kisses to be given.
Life to organize.
Books to read.
House to clean.
Jelly to make.
Friends to connect with.
Foods to preserve in various forms.
Garden to tend to.
Work to be done.
Tears to be cried.
Money to be made.
Facebook to suck time.
Chaos never ends.
I think I will go read another book.

Diner Al Fresco

2009-07-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

It is summer. I have been working really hard on my back yard. We have a group of dear friends that I try to arrange dinner with once a season. I realized at my birthday that time goes by way too fast. Next thing I know it is the holidays, and I haven't seen everybody all year, much less in a smaller, intimate environment. I coordinate this regular get together (with this particular group of people), and this time...it was in our emerging back yard. Jay and I have put up lights and triangle tarps (stung by rope), have a small patch of grass for just this purpose. A table low to the ground with rugs and pillows. Lots of food (potluck). Kids running crazy through the yard and house! My twinkly lights going, the ipod playing, the drinks flowing. It was a glorious evening. Warm and a bit humid, but extremely pleasant, especially with citronella candles burning. I can't believe that I had the presence of mind to take some pictures. We had a great 5 layer dip with chips, and an herb brusschetta with bread, black beans, tequila and lime (brined) chicken that was grilled, corn and tomato (lime) salad, green salad, corn bread with a honey butter spread/glaze (hit of the evening!). Drinking lovely vodka with pink lemonade! For dessert I made a brown sugar/cinnamon ice cream with strawberry/balsamic vinegar preserves and an oat praline (all in the ice cream). The recipe was from Eggs on Sunday blog. Man was that ice cream good!
The first round of my grapes and figs were on the table as well!
I apologize for the smudge on the camera lens. Can't go back and do these again....urgh. Wish I had noticed it at the time.

The kids finally succumbed to tv after running and playing and eating. (It was about 9:30-10pm at this point)

Nacho decided to hang close, and see if he could get some handouts!

The scooter that is part of our yard sculpture.

I snicker at your doodle, sir.

2009-07-15T22:00:00.001-07:00

Indeed, you heard me correctly. I snicker at your doodle!

Cows at Liberty Station

2009-07-05T23:53:00.001-07:00

Randomness discovered when you try to go to Trader Joe's when there is a mass exodus from the nearby church.

In the process of doing another post

2009-07-05T23:22:00.001-07:00

So while I was trying to organize some photos for a random post this evening...came across these 2 photos.

Where has my baby gone?

Disney AGAIN...

2009-06-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

I got to tell ya...I am working the HECK out of my annual pass this time!

Last week, I had reason to meet a client up in LA. As it turned out, we couldn't meet where she wanted, and we mutually agreed upon Downtown Disney. It was a Tuesday (week ago today) and it was NOT a black out date. HOORAY!!!

Turns out, my client is a Disneyland junkie too, and after we concluded our business, we poked around the park for a couple of hours before heading home. Admittedly, the park was pretty busy, but we were there just to poke...

(These 3 photos are from Adventureland and are part of what will always be for me "The Swiss Family Robinson Tree House" rather than the "Tarzan" tree house.

Got to say...the Bromiliads the last couple of years have really been spectacular here in SoCal. I used to not like them, but have become enamoured with them over the years. Kinda like the band Talking Heads.

I had one agenda, I needed to get back into the Blue Bayou restaurant. For those who do not know, this restaurant is part of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. When Rachel (my sissy) and I went for her birthday in April, we had lunch at the Blue Bayou. We noticed something that neither of us had never noticed before. The center window of the house (the setting of the restaurant is that you are eating on the patio at night of a New Orleans home) was blinking in what looked like Morris Code. We asked waiters, but none had ever noticed it before. We asked a couple of Disneyland experts, but the ones who got back to us, hadn't ever noticed it either. We definitely ruled out flicker bulbs ( and my sister has her degree in theatre and lighting design...she knows her flicker bulbs...work at Knotts' Berry Farm for years!). Anyway, wanted to check to see if the center window was blinking. It was NOT. The mystery continues to deepen. I will continue to update on this obsession I have going.

Lastly, had another SUPER COOL experience that day. Maybe you know about Club 33? It is an exclusive club in the park. It is a very high end restaurant and lounge. I do know that it is very pricey to be a member, and not a reality for me (even in the best of times). Still the mystery and exclusive-ness of Club 33 lingers. Anyhow, my friend (client) was showing me how all the balconies' iron work were all different (I had never noticed...although next trip...getting photos of that), when I asked her (she had been inside Club 33 once) if that was the Club 33 balcony? She said yes, and we also noticed a couple on the balcony looking down. The gentleman noticed us and waived. We waived back. Like I said, it was crowded, but he waived us over closer to the balcony where he was standing. He yelled down to wait. We did, and he came back and threw to me a Club 33 chocolate. It is in my dining room hutch sitting in a vintage 60's Tinkerbell china teacup. Talk about be so EXCITED. Pretty sure that is as close as I am going to get. Anyhoo...go to Daveland blog link on my blog and you can find out more about Club 33.

I love the planting done at the Haunted House, and has influenced some of my current potted arrangements. I am always impressed with the Disney gardeners. They work their butts off!

In any case, I am happy to say that I find that a lot of the plantings are being reworked with more water consciousness in mind. I love that they are working more succulents in to the entire park and look amazing and lush in the design work, despite the lower water requirement!

Thurston's Funny Faces

2009-06-28T20:36:00.001-07:00

PJ Harvey and John Parish

2009-06-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

Home now.
Much to think about.
Tiny woman with huge voice.
Am I a large woman with a small voice?

Sitting outside, watching the band.
Man made mist swirling about the stage.
Takes me back to a moment in time.

Che Cafe.
Confusion and delight in seeing children run around at midnight.
Smell of food I cannot afford.
Unrelenting music with a rhythm that cannot be denied.
Although the rhythm creates a trance like stupor.
The sense of insecurity and solitude.

Tonight the music is ethereal.
Except that the poly-rythmic drumming won't let you slip into a trance.
I have no reason for the insecurity or solitude.
Yet it still lingers in my hidden recesses.

She says that her lyrics are not about her life.
Yet hearing them at times produces tears in me.
Perhaps only in the potential application of her words
as if it were my life.

I am glad to be home.
Where I find what is most dear safe.

Urban Permaculture

2009-06-16T10:28:00.001-07:00

This is a quickie...
I know a lot of are into our homes.
A lot of us are into gardening.
A lot of us are into trying to make the environment a healthier place for us and our children.
I am lucky to have friends who live this day to day.
I am lucky to have friends who help to teach people how to do this.
They currently are in Brooklyn, New York. They have roots here in San Diego.
Check out their website. They have great resources and reading material from gardening to water conservation to alternative energy sources...you get my drift?

http://www.homebiome.com/index.php

Check them out if you have time. Maybe we could get them to come out here to do some classes?

More Details @ Disneyland

2009-06-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

On May 21st Thurston, my Mom and I trekked to Disneyland.
We had a blast. It was a long day, but again, such a good time.
I rarely get to spend that much time with my Mom anymore (without a ton of family about).
I really had a good time getting to visit with her that much.
As usual, had to get the pictures in. There are always more pictures, but I have done a couple of Disneyland entries already this year, so I went for the ones that are cute of T and my Mom, and the new details I noticed and captured on disk.

Jungle Cruise at night. I really like how the canvas are brought together, and contemplating using this same technique for my backyard.

Metal work in New Orlean's Square.

Thurston and my Mom on the train.

I really appreciate this copper drainpipe in Fantasyland. If any of you have ever priced copper drain work for your house...pricey experience.

Thurston try to emulate Arthur. I think as his mother, I am relieved that he could not pull the sword out of the stone.

Many of you may or may not know of my Medusa obsession.

Had to get a photo of this sword hilt...I think that is what it is.

There was this suit of armor outside a store in Fantasyland.

I LOVE GREENMEN. This suit was covered in them. This was the elbow.

This was the helmet on the suit of armor.

This is in the castle.

Stephanie was super nice, and drove us around main street in one of the old horseless carriages.

My Mom and Thurston on the horseless carriage.
Thurston was SUPER stoked to ride on this and on the fire engine.

This was the fire engine Walt Disney use to drive around the park in the mornings prior to opening. We rode on it too!

Main Street trolley. Was able to get a nice pix.

Thurston's 3rd Birthday Party

2009-05-30T19:19:00.001-07:00

I am a little behind in the blogging, and working a bit out of order, but what the heck!

On May 9th at 4pm we celebrated Thurston turning 3. I am sure that it is totally common, but now Thurston wants everything in 3's. 3 ice cubes Mama, I want 3 pizzas Mama, I do "fill in the blank" 3 times Mama!

Anyhoo...we splurged and got a JUMPIE! Thurston loves Buzz Lightyear from the Pixar movie "Toystory" and the place had one...again, what the heck! This jumpie was the 2nd smallest. The thing was HUGE! we had it for 2 days, and Thurston jumped like crazy! We had a bbq and dinner for all who came. Real traditional bbq fair....hamburgers (although I made my own veggie burgers for those non meat indulging), corn on the cob, watermelon, baked beans etc.

The party really got Jay and I going, and working on the back yard. We have been working on it since the first of the year, but we started watering and putting out plants and chairs, etc. We have done a lot more since Thurston's 3rd birthday, and I will post even more recent pix soon.

I know it is a bunch of photos, but for those who couldn't be there, wanted you to get the feel of the afternoon. For those who couldn't be there this year, Jay and I have decided on a repeat performance for his birthday next year! I have to put out there a big thank you to Charlie for his help with the food. He made it so I could visit with people and even take these pictures. I also want to thank Katherina for helping Jay bbq and getting the food out on the table. Last but not least...Christina..thank you so much for staying and helping me clean up. I was not at my best that day, and all of you helped to make it better for me. I love you and appreciate you all!

The GIANT jumpie.

Food, glorious food.

Corn made with love (xoxox to Charlie)

Auntie Erin, Toni & Ella

Nufi, Jennifer & Anna

Katherina & Alex hanging around the food area (across from the jumpie)

Thurston caught mid jump

Jay, Mike (and Izzie) and Mike hanging out behind the jumpie
(oh, how I love my bad boys..)

Sweet Vaught riding our fake atv.

I love this photo. Vaughn on a motorcycle.

I think Amy and I should be very scared!

One of the decks beginning to be dressed up!

Thurston and Diego enjoying some corn together.

(and watermelon...so many of these photos...couldn't do it to ya' folks)

Close up of the jicama slaw...really tasty...from sunset magazine.

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1891966

The party was byob. I knew I could count on my Mom for white wine!

Katherina looking pretty happy!

One more year, and our kids will be the age we were when we met.

Nellie...This is such a beautiful smile on her.

Really natural and relaxed.

Look it's MY belly!

Izzie's hairdoo kills me!

Rachel with Izzie and Alexandria

This is my favorite photo from the day.

It is a great photo of Charlie.

Cupcake Time!

We LOVE Etienne!

Alexandria was all about the cupcakes.

My only photo of Carson. I was really out of it!

Carson and Thurston are pretty inseparable!

Thurston taking a break!

Present opening.

The party ended at about 9:30. Thanks to all who could make it, and were so generous with the gifts and time!

Tribal Conditioning

2009-05-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of events I am still trying to blog, but in the meantime...this tidbit of an update...

Last night, we were eating dinner on back deck (I know, need pix update for this too!), and Thurston says that he is a bit cold, and wants to go in for his jacket. We tell him, OK. A few minutes later, Jay decides that he wants seconds, and retreats into the house. Next thing I know the two of them come barrelling out the back door, and Thurston is quite eager to show me his "tree."

Apparently Jay walked in on him drawing on himself with a permanent ink sharpie. Jay said he thought it might have been too quiet! Thurston showed me his tree and I said that I thought it was neat. I was told it was NOT neat, but an "AWESOME!!!!! tree"

I asked him who had drawings on their arms. Smart aleck...he pointed to my tattoos! I, of course, was expecting this, but he also mentioned his Uncle Mike, his Auntie Amy, and most importantly "Daddy" (his name for our dear friend Alan....their son is Carson...Thurston's best friend). Explanation of nickname: Jay is called "Papa" so daddy isn't really a household word, but Carson calls Alan "Daddy" and Thurston, although knows his name is Alan, prefers to call him "Daddy."

As the proud Mama, I had to get pictures of his first body art....here you go....the AWESOME!!! tree.

I thought it was a good drawing and very tree like, if I do say so myself!

CSI-Boundary Street

2009-05-15T19:16:00.000-07:00

Victim Flashback:
Warm San Diego Saturday in May, late afternoon (or so I have been told).
In a small cell, sloshing around. Unsure as to where I am being taken.
Small human squeals, as big moving thing stops, and we get out.
I am carried through what seems like a jungle, that I have only imagined from the perimeter of the pond I once called home.
We enter another pond, but I am still in my confined clear cell of a new home.
Humans seem to be communicating with one another.
I think I sense shock on the face of one human and possible remorse on the other human that has kept me in my contained cell.
The new human takes the cell from the familiar human, and I can see outside the pond, but still quite confined.
I wonder if I will ever be set free again? Is this to be my destiny?

Fast forward Friday Morning:
Officer: Tell me what you saw this morning...
Nicole: Well, per my usual routine, I started in the kitchen to open the blinds and let some light into the house. Thurston was still in bed, I was the only one up. Feeling a bit groggy, but aware enough to realize quickly that something was wrong! There was water all over the counter, dripping down the sides of the cabinets on both sides. In fact there was water on the cushion for the eating booth that is the back side of that kitchen cabinet. I snap to...I see that the mason jar with the beta fish was on its' side. No fish on the counter. No water in the jar. The water, the water, it was everywhere!!!! The HUMANITY! Oh G-D the HUMANITY!.... Hold on, I need a Kleenex.....
Officer: Ma'am, can you go on? Do you need more time to compose yourself?
Nicole: No. I'll be ok. I can go on. (sniffle, sniffle) With all that water everywhere, I decided I needed to look around. Maybe under the table, maybe on the cushion, behind the pillows....nothing, freaking nothing. I couldn't find the fish ANYWHERE. I just started to panic. What was I going to do? I pulled myself together and thought the best thing to do, would be to wipe up the water, and get Thurston to school, then start making phone calls. I can't believe the fish is still missing!
Officer:Ma'am, when was the last time you saw the fish?
Nicole: Well, um, I suppose right before I went to bed the night before, maybe 11pm or so?
Officer: Are you sure of this?
Nicole: I guess so, it seemed like 64 Zoo Lane was on Noggin at the time we went to bed.
Officer: We?
Nicole: Yes Officer, my son Thurston and I "do" family bed.
Officer: Again I ask, are you sure of this?
Nicole: What are you implying?
Officer: I think you know what I am talking about....
Nicole: I don't think I want to talk anymore without my attorney present.
Officer: We can do this the hard way or the easy way....
Nicole: Silence.
Officer: Don't leave town. Consider yourself a person of suspect.

Later Same Day:
Officer: So we hear that your wife was concerned about having another pet. We also hear that your wife has already been called up on charges of mistreating a previous beta fish.
Jay: You ain't gettin' nuttin' from me copper. (scowl and look off to the side)
Officer: Come on man, you know this is true, save yourself, cop to the truth about your wife, and we will cut you a deal. Plead you down, no jail time.
Jay: No dice man! Talk to our attorney!
Officer: FINE! (slams hand down on table) We can wait till your attorney gets here. Mind if I have one of your wife's home made pastries?
Jay: (Scowl) Can't believe you believe she committed this crime, and will still eat her baked goods. Why would you even ask anyways...you could just take the pastries...why even try with pleasantries? What kind of cop are you?
Officer: A hungry one that knows good baked goods when he sees them!

Different Room:
Officer: (glaze and brown sugar on the corner of the mouth and chocolate chip cookie in hand) You know, your husband is in the other room. He is getting pretty worked up. The way I figured it, he did it and you are covering for him. He has always been less than enthusiastic about having pets. He barely tolerates the 2 cats you have now anyways.
Nicole: YOU CAN'T PEG THIS ON HIM! (standing up, throwing chair backwards behind her)
Officer: You always this dramatic?
Nicole: Yeah, just ask my family about the time I was sick and crawled up the stairs crying out to my parents in pain. It runs in our family. My sister has her BA in drama.
Officer: Sounds like you have had some good coaching. Too good of coaching....Maybe I should bring her in too...
Nicole: Leave my poor family out of this. They had nothing to do with it.
Officer: I will if you will tell me what really happened. No bull shit, the real deal. Maybe I can talk to the DA and get you a deal if you come clean. All the way.
Nicole: I swear, I didn't do it, but I will tell you the whole story, and try to tell you where to go from there.
Officer: We don't have much time, get on with it. If you tell me anything interesting, I will think about what I can "suggest" to the DA. This had better be good.
Nicole: So it started on Saturday at Thurston's party. I was pretty stressed out, and probably not the best hostess in the world that day (No Martha Stewart for this party). Not such a good job in hiding my reactions to certain situations either. Amy R. and Molly come in pretty close to on time, and I am in the house trying to get the food out for guests. Charlie and Katherina were awesome and trying to help me as well, so I could play hostess (more or less)....anyways Amy R. comes in and hands me a small jar with a pretty purplish blue beta fish in it. I guess I didn't do such a good job of hiding my "surprise" at the gift. It really was a cool gift, but in that moment, all I could think of, was the last beta fish I had about 5 or 6 years ago. That thing just wouldn't die. I think it was even eating it's own tail at one point towards the end. I love the idea of fish in an aquarium...not sure I am the one for that responsibility. In any case, I think I made Amy feel bad, as she seemed sheepish about the gift later. In any case, I put the fish into the kitchen, tucked into the corner, between two windows, out of the way and kinda hidden.
I TOTALLY FORGOT about the poor fish. Admittedly, I was not feeling well and in a funk, and not functioning at my highest levels for the next several days. Come Thursday, once again, my family decimated and yet another toaster oven. I took the toaster oven out to the alley for inner city recycling (wink wink). I came back in, and was going to wipe the counter down, when I noticed tucked into the corner, the beta fish present. Oh good god, was the thing even still alive? Yes, yes it was. Ok. I had gotten rid of the fish bowl we had several years ago. I would need to get another one. On the list of things to buy. Meantime, I grabbed one of my largest mason jars and filled it with fresh water, and put the beta into the new jar. Also gave him some food to eat as well. All seemed good. Until...until., until Snape became aware. I couldn't get him away from that jar. He was stuck to it like glue. I was admittedly worried. I placed the jar next to other jars on the counter, kinda put some stuff around the jar, in hopes of discouraging Snape. Finally Snape seemed to lose interest. We went to dinner at my sister's, went to Target afterwards. Got home, nothing was amiss. I thought maybe we were in the clear. We didn't talk about the fish, to busy putting stuff away, taking baths, getting ready for bed, etc. We did wake up at about 3am, but nothing seemed wrong at that point. We went back to sleep only to discover the tragedy this morning. I love the cat, but I think you need to question Snape.
Officer: Your story seems plausible. I will need to check it out before I let you out of my custody.

Closing Scene:
Snape: (laying on pink and purple tempurpedic bed) You think we will get anymore fresh fish soon?
Nacho: I so don't want to hear about it. You didn't even share any of it with me.
(Out window Nicole can be seen being hauled away in zip tie handcuffs)

Epilogue:
The Beta fish Doe was never found.
Nicole was released due to no body ever being found. Crime un-convictable.
Jay stayed faithful to his wife's story.
Thurston never knew about the beta fish gift he had been given.
Snape still wears a smirky indigent smile on his face.
Nacho has needed some serious reassurance since the incident.

Any similarity to real people or fish is purely a coincidence.

Boundaries, Processing, & Love

2009-05-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

So the last 3 weeks have not exactly been a walk in the park for me.
I have felt the need to recede into the cave and stay there quiet for a while.
Unfortunately for my desire to be alone, Thurston has turned 3 years old.

1. The job that I have, for the most part, loved for the last six years has come to an end.
2. I tried to make another work home for myself, only to have a horrifying experience, but ultimately showed me (again this year) my growth in terms of setting healthy boundaries for myself.
3. The stress of the aforementioned 2 items left my body in a serious bad health space. (starters...TERRIBLE asthma flare up)
4. My baby turned 3.

The long and short of all of this comes down to change. How do I handle the change. It would seem right now, maybe not so good...but....
Within 3 days I saw a very unhealthy dynamic in an office environment, and had the fortitude to say NO! to this. In times past, I might have let it go on a lot longer, for fear of not having work.
This time, I knew that the damage would be massive, and I had to cut it off at the pass. Unfortunately, in setting this boundary, I lost a piece of income that was really needed at this point. It is going to be rough for a while, but I know that we as a family will find a way, and get through it.

I wish I could say that I was in really great spaces for the fun birthday party I had planned for Thurston, but I didn't feel well, and felt like a really crappy hostess that day. I literally collapsed the following day (which was Mother's Day). I had been so looking forward to the party for Thurston, and all I felt was spun out. I am really sad about that. Thurston, did seem to have a good time.

Basically I decided to be a shut in since the party and try to physically and mentally process the change that is sitting in front of me. I am glad that I have. I think I have a better grip on reality for doing so. One of the things that I have been thinking about is Jay.

A lot of people ask me regularly why we are together. I am more outgoing, like to travel and socialize, etc. Jay is a homebody and a gear head, rather introverted. The funny thing is that, I love him the way he is. Some people might think that he is single minded, and struggle with him thinking about mechanical things all the time. I on the other hand, have only asked him to have a passion for life. He has found passion in mechanics. He is alive and full of love, anger, frustration, creative fervor if you will...when in the throws of a project. He loves that artistic high, and wants it, and feels inhuman without it.
He is loyal, and ALWAYS believes in me. Even when I don't believe in me. He believes that I will never lead him (or us) astray. A tough belief to live up to, but one that I don't think he has ever given to another human being. After 16 years together, I can say that there is no other love for me. He can just rub my back and calm me down when having a really bad asthma attack. He still loves me when I am in my beat up sweats and torn up Tor Johnson t-shirt. He loves me so much, that he has a kid with me, even when it scared the crap out of him.

Change is good, change is required, adversity breeds creativity.
I like that Jay and I don't change in our loving of each other.
That and a good Neil Young song at the right moment can make me cry.

Splash Mountain Sore Throat

2009-04-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I called my sister Rachel, and let her know that Disneyland had a deal going that if you registered with Disney online, you could go for free on your birthday. Well, as it happens, I have an annual pass, and thought we could go to Disneyland for her birthday on April 8th. She has worked really hard this last year, and I thought a day for us together (like we did before we became Moms) would be a fun day for her!

To my joy, she totally said YES!!!

So on Weds April 8th at about 8am, we set out for Disneyland for the day.

I had managed to get my work for the day done (whew...wipe sweat away from forehead) and was looking forward to a fun day of being with my sister, and even more important, having multiple complete conversations without each of us getting interrupted with "mama, mommy, I need...." Quite honestly, we were hoarse by the end of the day, due to the amount of unfettered conversation. We also went a bit crazy with the cameras. We both love photography, and ended up on the crazy detail tangent of pictures at Disneyland.

Here are the fruit of my labors. For the sensational pictures Rachel took, check her blog. I know as of tonight she hasn't posted them, but is working on the post!

I know that not everybody is as into Disneyland as I am, so all I can say is ....deal with it....I really make a huge leap here...pretty sure only my friends and family are reading this blog!

Not one of my better pix, but I loved the crimson pansies and green and purple. This was in line at the Haunted House. Some changes have been made on that ride, that bummed me out a bit. The paintings that you see in the hallway after getting off of the elevator have been changed, but not for the better, in my humble opinion.

Haunted House

Rachel took this picture for me on my camera. I want to use this as a screen saver.

We had to get a picture of Rachel's birthday button. I think maybe 100 people said "Happy Birthday" to her. Not only employees, but other visitors as well. It was pretty cool.

Rachel said this looks like a penis. I guess she could be right. It is the underside of the gargoyle in the next photo. Yes, this photo and the next I used flash photography. Technically people were still loading into the elevator, and the ride hadn't started.

Gargoyle. Gotta love it! Remember, I did wear black to my brother's wedding...hahaha!

I treated my sister to lunch at the Blue Bayou Restaurant. She was given chocolate mousse for dessert. Now what I don't have picture of, is the one of Rachel and I DRENCHED from riding Splash Mountain. The weather predicted had been rain, but it did not (whew), but we, maybe, had a max temperature of 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Needlesstosay...we had some issues getting dry. We sat on sunny warm concrete, asked for extra towels at the blue bayou (which they very much obligingly gave us), and finally ending up at first aid where they gave us a hair dryer, which took the last of the damp off of us. I think this may have taken the cold I was just about over, to the next level. Hence Splash Mountain Sore Throat! We had a good laugh, multiple times over this incident. I really hope Rachel posts the picture she had taken of us SOAKED!

This bougainvillea is in an area that really isn't used at Disneyland at this time. This is where they used to have boats you could drive.

Small World ride.

Small World Ride.

While we were in line for the ride, the Small World Clock sounded.

The ride has been very recently refurbished and updated. It has changed, in my opinion, minorly. Updated with characters from Disney movies, and some updated music underlay. Go to Daveland blog (link to it is on my blog) and you can find out more details and video of what has changed. Or go and check it out for yourself!

Rachel called me a dork (which, really I am a nerd) because I wanted this picture. I inherited my Mamalene's love of clouds. It really was a very pretty day!

Train at Small World.

Detail at the Main Street Train Depot.

Building on Main Street. Small detail up high, that one might miss in sensory overload.

Train Depot. I liked the simplicity of it.

Another Main Street Building.

I went crazy with the camera on Thunder Mountain. There was too many picture opportunities I couldn't pass by.

I see a return to Disneyland in your future....

Spring has arrived at the small purple house

2009-03-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

All of these pictures were taken today, March 25, 2009 on my property.

Todd and Erin's Wedding or Parenting Lesson 958 Learned:Never potty train at a close intimate family event

2009-03-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

This is really the culmination of my entries about how my brother got married a week ago.

I think I am still trying to process this. He and I are 10 years apart, and in retrospect, I realized that I never really thought much about my siblings getting married. I remember thinking about (in my much younger days) how old we would all be at y2k. I was 30, Rachel 25. Todd 20, and Elyse 15. I sometimes don't think of my sibs outside of our family. I know it may seem strange. It certainly does to me. I think of them as mine. Maybe because my parents really tried to implant into my head that my siblings watch everything I do, and I am responsible to them.

Unfinished dribble from my brain...now for what I think you might want more of...details about the wedding weekend!

DISCLAIMER: although this is about Todd's wedding weekend...I still live my life through me, so in it's own strange way, it is all about me too!

Everything started out really good. We got packed up, headed out a little late, but as I found out via cell phone, everybody was late, so it was all good. I was a bit nervous about the weekend, as a month previously we had "planned" to run out of diapers, and were (and still) in the throws of potty training. Off we schlep to the mountains with a gazillion pairs of underwear and clothes for Thurston, and the ever important potty. May seem like a random detail, but in reality was a HUGE elephant that was parked in our room, and crapping in it.

We get to the Pine Hills Lodge, check in, start unloading the car, celebrating no potty accidents along the way, when I realize that I FORGOT MY DRESS FOR THE WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will not mince words. I was freakin' pissed! This was the beginning of my un-doing. This meant that we were going to have to drive the hour and 10 minutes back to the house and back before the wedding the next day to get the dress. Ughhhhhh.

OK. So I have my freak out, and calm down. As none of my little tribe was in the wedding, I wasn't so concerned about the rehearsal. We were however, expected for the rehearsal dinner. We headed up to the lodge/pub (really neat...) and hung out with a bunch of folks, waiting for dinner. It was all very nice, food from Pazzo's (baked ziti and salad, etc.). Todd had brewed beer for the occasion, and it was tasty as well. We toasted the couple, drank some beer/wine and a shot of vodka (or tequila). It was quite fun, and the company was great. The evening was chilly, but clear and beautiful.

The Pine Hills Lodge is this really neat little, well, lodge. It has a French chef, Michelle. A sweet pub. A theater that used to be the personal training gymnasium for Jack Dempsey. It was built in 1912, and has a rustic quality to it. It was very comfortable, and very unplugged, although it did have good cell reception! There were down comforters on the beds and claw foot tubs in the bathrooms! The daffodils were in perfect bloom all over the property. The trees were all starting to bud and bloom. It was a perfect spring weekend in Julian.

At some point in the early evening, the sisters stole Erin away for a secret sister-making ritual, with promises of unnecessary drama for the future. Let it be known that I personally followed through on this "intention." Shortly there after we (meaning Thurston and I) went to bed.

Bedtime was a disaster. Thurston and I were both gun shy of him rolling off the bed (when in Yosemite a year ago, he rolled off the bed 2x). Even though I put a chair up against the side of the bed, he kept jerking awake, and then that would wake me up. By midnight, he wanted, nay crying that he wanted to go home. Shortly there after Jay came in from hanging out, and he tried to go to bed on the chair style futon on the floor. I didn't let him stay there for long. I ended up putting Jay in the bed and Thurston and I slept on the floor. I want to take the opportunity at this point, to bid a fair, fair adieu to my nights of staying at friends' homes across the country, and sleeping on their floors to make this (cheap) travel happen. No longer is this part of my life, I can exclaim with total confidence ( and sadness?). Sleep was fleeting and didn't last more than maybe 2 hours at a stretch. Needlesstosay, this was not the way I wanted to be for my brother's wedding.

In any case, we got up at about 8am, got dressed, and at this point, ultra tired Thurston, decides that using the potty is TOTALLY out of the question. No amount of cajoling or bribery would work. We leave Jay to sleep a bit more, and head up to the pub for a continental style breakfast of muffins and coffee/tea. Thurston and I get our bearings and visit for a while with Mike and Arline, when I decide I would rather get down to San Diego to get the dress sooner rather than later. I was more than a bit surprised when Jay was coming up the stairs dressed and ready to go! We loaded up a couple of things (like the now untouchable potty) and got into the car to make the drive back down. Despite our tiredness, we actually had a good time talking and being in the car. Thankfully Thurston did not have an accident in the car, but managed to have several before we left for SD, and while in SD. When at home, Jay decided that he would rather take a shower for the wedding at home, and so I tended to the cats, etc. while he showered and Thurston pee'd his pants and yet again. We did eat some protein in the form of lunch, and headed back to Julian. All three of us had a certain overwhelming delirium to our personalities at this point. With this said, it was nice to get back to Julian, as it was beautiful and clear, and quite glum at home.

So, we get back, and the Homel/Rice girls are all getting their hair done. I needed a nap desperately when I decide (again in delirium) to find Todd. I needed to give him a couple of items, but no one knew where he was at that point. By the way, we got back around 1pm....wedding to start at 4. Yes, we did remember the dress this time! Anyhow, I start to freak out, and then decide that it had to be nap time. Jay took Thurston with him on some travels and I tried to sleep. I think I got some light sleep in, enough to make it so I wasn't psychotic. Unfortunately, Thurston and Jay were now having SERIOUS freak out issues. Thurston had now crapped in his pants and Jay was freaking! It is 3pm, and we all needed to calm down and start getting ready. I ran a tub, and we got Thurston out of his clothes and into the tub with me. Once bathed, he totally refused clothes, underwear, diaper...you name it even ice cream....NONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!

Jay and I thought we were going to just shoot ourselves. I ended up telling Jay to screw the underwear, screw the nice clothes, just put a freakin' diaper on him, and let him wear what he wants! Thurston finally conceded to a diaper and shorts and t-shirt (which had us worried, as it was getting chilly out...but again....I NOT COLD!!!! over and over). I admit it...I had absolutely no fight left in me. My only hope was to make it the 50 feet from the room to my brother's wedding on time. I was starting to have serious doubts about that even happening. Freak out starting to come on again! Do you hear the roller coaster heading down quickly? Scream coming forth from the back of the throat? I did say that I was responsible for some unnecessary drama......

Anyways...I finish getting dressed, Jay skulked about, Thurston hassled me about whatever he could hassle me about, and all I can think is that I need to get this black handkerchief that was our Great Grandmother's to Todd. I carried one at my wedding, I gave one to Rachel to carry at her wedding, I had one for Todd and I still have one for Elyse, for when that day comes. Jay comes into the room and tells me that he thinks the wedding is starting...freak out complete, no counting backwards, no trying to grasp reality....the tears started instantly! In my full length formal dress, I go running and sobbing up the 50 feet of stairs looking for Todd. I can't find the hanky, and I am full fledged flipped out! As I get to the top of the stairs, Rachel sees me, and says "NO WAY....You CANNOT come up here like that. Todd will see you. YOU WILL NOT RUIN HIS DAY!....ELYSE....GO MANAGE HER !" As I write this, I am totally laughing. sobbing at the time, laughing hysterically now.....If any of you have sisters, this is really the best of them. They can manage your drama, and be willing to incur your wrath to do so. Elyse walked me half way down the stairs, and tried to get me to tell her what was wrong. As you can tell by this post, well, short and succinct is NOT my thing. I think Elyse finally decided getting Mom to manage me would be the best idea...I truly did want my Mom at that point! Elyse decided she could get Thurston in his wedding clothes, and Mom promised me that I had 10 minutes to find the hanky, and she absolutely would not let the wedding start without me there.

This reassurance was all I needed to resume some sense of composure. Elyse really did manage to get Tbone into his "wedding clothes" (apparently the fight wasn't out of her), and in a less hurried state, remembered that I had put the hanky in my jeans pocket when I had been looking for Todd earlier. With that said, I had calmed down a bit, tweaked the makeup and went up to the wedding area to find my brother. I did, gave him the hanky, and started crying again. I then met up with Jay and we got seated. Thurston was with his Eho and Uncle Vince right next to us, and with that the wedding started shortly thereafter. Thurston had to have Buzz and Guy (his constant companions) with him, and I think maybe they got married that day as well...to bad the California Constitution was changed to reflect terrible inequity. Anyhoo...Thurston through most of the ceremony kept asking if he could go say "hi to Uncle Todd". He ended up snuggling into Jay and going to sleep. Both Todd and Erin looked beautiful...You can look at pictures and decide for yourself.

The wedding was beautiful, sentimental and all that a wedding should be. A friend of Erin's, Carlos Olmeda sang his song "A Devil Like Me". It was so beautiful, even my Dad teared up...a rare event at any time! He is a local songwriter and performer. I have seen him perform twice now, and he really is wonderful. If you are here in San Diego, check him out...otherwise check out his website and you can read about him and hear some of his music. http://www.carlosolmedamusic.com/ Although I did video him singing at the wedding, I promised him that I would not post it on the internet (ie my blog). Pretty much none of us who were at the wedding can hear this song without thinking of the wedding and tearing up!

Once the wedding was over, there were a ton of photos to be taken, and kids to be coordinated. I had arranged for Thurston's previous preschool teacher, Dee to watch the kids while the reception went on. My Mom had done a lot of leg work to make this happen, and had originally scheduled somebody else for the job, but they cancelled last minute, and Dee was a superhero. She totally said she would do it (with one day to spare), and was just awesome. GIANT THANKS TO DEE!!!! Hope you are reading this! The kids got to play, eat dinner, watch movies in the gymnasium/theatre.

Thank goodness...the rest of the evening went pretty uneventfully for me. Thurston was in good hands and food was going to be served. The tables had been arranged by musician, and we were at the Billy Holiday table. Our table was Jay, Me, Rachel, Mike, Elyse, Vince Arline and Jim (a close family friend from AZ). We had a couple of drinks and a good time visiting with each other and the people around us. (We were stage left to the wedding party's table). We were up to our usual antics of joking around, eating, taking pictures with the disposable camera. We are quite curious to see how those turned out! Everybody ate, drank and made merry! The music really never stopped, but tables were cleared away and the toasting and dancing started! The toasts were a wonderful reflection of Todd and Erin as individuals and the love that they demonstrate to each other. Although I spent time going between the reception and the kids, I had a great time. I got to visit and hang out, and everybody was so relaxed, as most of us had rooms at the Lodge or nearby in Julian proper. At about 10:30 most of the kids were pretty fried, and ready for bed, but not my kid. He wanted to go to the party. So off the party we went! We hung out until about 11:15, and then it was time for us to turn in. Jay stayed as the family delegate for any later merriment to be had. From the sounds of it, he represented us well! I must say that the idea of a weekend "away" wedding was great. In addition, due to all of the events before the wedding, I had gotten to know many of the people in Erin's life, so the weekend was very amicable, as I already knew many people and names, etc.

Thurston and I slept better the night of the wedding, but it was still on the floor. We woke up at about 9 and packed up and went in to join everybody for the big group brunch that was going on. The food was really good...the chef made a salmon chowder from the left over salmon from the wedding...it was SO GOOD! The eggs were really fresh and fluffy...I wonder if they were from somebody who let their chickens go to pasture? Anyhow...that was most of the weekend. Maybe more details than you might have wanted, but there it was from my perspective. I have chosen not to dwell on the remembrances of loved ones gone, as I would like to think they were there in spirit, and certainly in memory. I think the video that i have posted really shows the meat of the wedding more than I could possibly put words to describe. Possible tear jerker video...you have been warned!

Brother Brother, Carole King

2009-03-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

Oh, brother, brother, brother

I know you've been layin' back a long time

But I love you like no other

Oh, brother of mine

I've been watching everything you do

And I've been wishing only good for you

All you've got to do is just to want it to

And it's gonna come - it's gonna come to you

Oh, brother, brother, brother

I know you've been hangin' on a long time

But I love you like no other

Oh, brother of mine

You have always been so good to me

And though you didn't always talk to me

There wasn't much my lovin' eyes could not see

And I don't believe you need all your misery

Oh, brother, brother, brother

I know you've been hangin' on a long time

You know I love you like no other

Oh, brother, brother, brother

Talkin' about you, brother

The Imaginary Life of Us Before Elyse

2009-03-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

My brother is getting married on Saturday. I am very excited, and feeling a little sentimental. Todd (my brother) and I are 10 years apart in age, but really close. He lives in North Park, like me, loves to cook, like me, and will be a devoted partner to his fiancee. I am so proud of him, and all he has accomplished and who he is. I am proud to call him my friend. Here is an installment of early pictures.....

I was always at my Dad's heals as a kid. Yes, I adored him, as most little girls do their Dad. Anyhow, Dad had just started a remodel, and he and I had taken hammers to the walls, when my Mom told my Dad she was pregnant. It seemed kind of like a funny joke for a little while, then we got really excited! I am trying to remember if this photo had been taken that very day!

My bro, only a couple of days old...we got to hold him, but those photos were even more blurry.

I know this to be a family favorite photo...with the exception of Elyse. She is still trying to promote the idea that there was no life until she came along....

So freakin' cute...you could just eat him up. Man, he is cute!

Again. not an Elyse favorite, but one of my personal favs. Let it be known, that I am pretty sure that all of us kids...Elyse included, still love to snuggle in bed and talk and giggle. I would say it just about tops my list of favorite ways to spend my time!

Garden Chaos...total peace

2009-03-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have just come in from the garden.
My hands haven't even been washed yet.
I set out at noon, and now at just about 6 have finally come inside.

I love my garden.
I love the work my garden requires.
My front yard is 50 feet wide by 20 feet deep.
I hated weeding as a kid, but as an adult, it has become a zen task, a simple joy in my life.
With so little, I can accomplish so much. Difficult to achieve in trying times.
Difficult to achieve in the middle of a full life with many demands on one person.

I love the musty smell of dirt on my hands, in my hair and of coarse, in the air.
I watch the hummingbirds that have been living for many years in my front yard.
I currently have one that was flitting around today. Half of his body was green and half of his face was red. He was completely asymetrical. It seemed odd to me. He also towards the end of the day, seemed confused and lost of purpose. The local finches on the other hand with ever busy with their socializing.

The only part of my yard that remains from it's prior life (before I owned the property) is a row of roses, bird of paradise, camillias and pointsettias. The camillias and pointsettias are in bloom.
The roses are working their way their. The grapes have put out new buds and it warms my heart to see it. The boysenberry is getting ready to bloom as well.

I planted the tomatoes and herbs I had ready to go, and maybe this year, I will have artichokes from the 1 remaining plant from the 2 I planted last year.

I have purposefully enclosed my yard with overgrown trellis and plants. I guess I have always been enamoured with the idea of a "secret garden". I had my ipod on, and listened to much music. My hands are dirty, but my mind and soul feel clean. Does that sound trite? The sun was out it was in the mid to high sixties, and frankly perfect gardening weather. Thurston ran around the whole time, and Jay basically did too.

I love the illusion of order that I create in my garden. In a split second, it can become chaos again, but one of the few satisfactions I can hold on to, is the fact that with some hard work, order can be obtained.

This is a stream of consciousness piece, and I will not reread to edit. Please keep this in mind. I only wanted to journal the peace and order I feel from being in my yard today (and Friday).
Think I am ready to hit the showers and make dinner.
Love and peace from a dirty garderner.

wheo wheo back in time! 2003 NYC

2009-03-02T21:08:00.000-08:00

I sit here this evening, after a day of working in a windowless office listening to techno music while trying to close out books for the year. The techno wasn't my first choice, it was the owner's. I started clicking on items in rhythm to "unk chuc unk chuc unk chuc"...you all know what I am talking about! Anyhow, I digress...Things being what they are, I was feeling a little sorry for myself, and lamenting my "halcyon" days of unfettered and unencumbered travel.

In June of 2003 I went to visit an old friend of mine who now resides in Brooklyn. She was an awesome hostess, and was extremely generous. I had a wonderful crazy, not a lot of sleep filled trip! This is a reminiscent blog entry. Dreiky is coming to town soon, and I have been thinking of this trip lately. I am so grateful for all my friends who live all over the world, and let me crash with them.

Some highlights from this trip:

#1) Saw for the 1st time ever (for me) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ the Roseland Ballroom. We also stayed out until 7am the next day. Went to an amazing Russian restaurant and had delicious flavored vodka (dill).

#2) Got to see the Statue of Liberty (closed at this time due to 9-11 security)

#3) Got to go to Ellis Island. My Great Grandfather came through here. It was quite profound to be here, and think of all the people who walked though this building.

#4) My Grandpa Leonard got my Grandpa Harry's name on the wall at Ellis Island (He is listed twice...Harry L. Homel and Louis Homelsky)

#5) I went and saw the American Ballet Theatre perform Swan Lake at the Met.

#6) Walked through parts of Central Park. ...no where near enough.

#7) Got to see my first Broadway play...The Producers.

#8) Got to go to a couple of underground clubs...

#9) The food....oh the food...Zabars, H&H, Donut Plant, pirogi at a polish rest. in Brooklyn...so much food...

#10) Went to the top if the Empire State building....Rachel...do you remember talking to me on the cell phone when I was 1/2 way up?

Sad note at this point....I did not have a digital camera at this time (didn't get it until 2004). Much of my film was damaged, or something, and very few pictures actually turned out...these are 1/2 of the scant few that made it. I was so sad when I got the film developed. So know...this is old school film pictures...no redo's.

#11) The Metropolitan Museum of Costume Design.

#12) The Guggenheim (aka the toilet of NYC...so I was told by a cab driver)

#13) The Natural History Museum...The Albert Einstein Exhibit....

No where near enough time for these museums.

#14) Walking residential side streets and admiring the detail.

#15) Not to be forgotten...Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out when I was there. Got my copy and read it all in NYC.

#16) Got to see Dreiky (and have some great quality time with her) and Patrick and Diana came down from Ithaca and hung out too!

I cannot wait until I take Thurston. I think it will be amazing.

Born of Conscious Love

2009-02-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Little Man,
I write this for you, hoping that someday you will read it and understand.
You are my child of conscious love. You are also the child born of my dreams and fantasies.
Your Papa would not let me entertain the name I had originally wanted (Emerson), but you still ended up with a name equally as uncommon, that I think suits you better.

You are sleeping right now and I see so much of Papa, myself, and the unique person you are.
I see stubbornness, persistence, love, and joy. I never want to see these qualities diminish. You love to talk. You are truly a Homel, but even more, I see this as a pure intent of wanting to connect with others around you. May you know how to use this intimate quality wisely.

I watch you everyday share what ever you have with anybody you come in contact with. Whether it be half of the cookie you eat, or handing out hotwheels to everybody who is in the house. You remind me that this is the way to be. Please never lose the quality of giving with a full heart, as you do so naturally now.

I love that you possess the same quality that Papa has. A penchant for late nights and late mornings. It means for me, that even though, at this time you go to child care, we spend many hours together within the full day. I love that you call to Papa in the same way I do. Albeit it is sometimes demanding, but always full of love.

You have helped to make your Papa be a most wonderful human. I always knew this about him, but you have helped him to understand it for himself and be able to give unconditional love. Something he was unsure that he would be able to give. You have helped us to become more fully emotionally conscious and responsible. May you know this joy and challenge.

Above all, I hope that you take responsibility for your life and actions. All successes and failures have purpose. If you cannot own them, then what is really left? Emotion is void if that personal ownership is not there. How can one feel joy truly, if one can not take responsibility for the path that has taken one there? How can one feel any positive emotions or negative emotions without having felt the other and all predicated on owning the path to that specific emotional outcome? I speak of ideas I have had for many years. They continue to grow and evolve. If you read this as an adult, I am sure this is the one portion of the letter you will have heard me speak. I write this letter in Jewish tradition. These ideas are the legacy I leave you. As I feel compelled, I will write more. I don't want to wait until I am infirm to contemplate this and try to express it.

May you have a long and beautiful life.
Love-
Mama

A Day at the Beach: A Post by EHo

2009-02-19T22:02:00.000-08:00

Hi there Chaos Readers! I too am a Chaos reader and I am pretty excited to be guest-posting on my dear Sissy's blog - so let's get down to business.

About one month ago my boyfriend Vince (Uncle Vince) and I (EHo) were watching Thurston for a full day. It was unusually warm here in San Diego for a January day, approximately 78°, so we decided to go to the beach! We headed over to our favorite spot in La Jolla and plopped down on a blanket in the sun. Wait, wait - let me back up.

Thurston, my nephew, a San Diegan for all his 2.5 years, has NEVER been to the beach. A travesty in my book. I am pretty sure that I spent most of my Junior year, 6th period ditching to go to the beach in La Jolla. And Vince has potentially taken over 1 million (yes, say it like Dr. Evil would) photos of beach sunsets. Beaching is a way of life for us. Of course, I am not criticizing Nicole & Jay for not taking him yet, but I just took matters into my own hands.

So, having Thurston for a full day, we packed his bags, grabbed his swimsuit, a couple of digging toys and headed west. At first Thurston was a little apprehensive - "No take off shoes, NO take off socks". But the second Uncle Vince threw his flip flops and shirt aside, Thurston followed suit. "TAKE OFF SHOES!".

Below is Thurston's first pictures of him at the beach.

Shortly after these photos were taken Thurston peeled off his shirt, ripped off his socks, stripped down his shorts and hardly wanted to wear his underpants. I'm all for nudism, but Uncle Vince is a bit more modest.

It was perfectly warm laying in the sand, munching on gold fish and playing a little frisbee,

but Thurston wanted more. This boy is DESTINED for the ocean.

Thurston and Uncle Vince

Below is a video of Thurston's very first dip into the pacific ocean at La Jolla Shores. As a warning, maybe turn down the volume; I have an obnoxiously screechy voice. AND keep in mind the water couldn't have been warmer than 55° - it might have felt warm outside, but it was still January.

This boy is crazy about the ocean. At one point some scuba divers emerged from the water and Thurston exclaimed "Sea Monsters!". He also refused to get out. He spent approximately 40 minutes in the freezing ocean flopping around like a fish out of water. Couples would walk past and smile at his sweet innocence and pure enthusiasm for the beach. Kids have a wonderful way of reminding us jaded adults how beautiful life is. I felt like I too was experiencing the excitement of the beach for the first time based on Thurston's enjoyment.

When Vince asked, "Thurston, are you cold?" (after 40 minutes in) Thurston replied, with purple shivering lips, "Yaaaaaa".

"Then let's get out buddy and get you a warm towel..."

"NO! STAY IN COLD OCEAN. NO GET WARM!"

We laughed about this for days. But we did finally get him out of the water and into some warm clothes again.

"On three yell, 'BEACH!'"

We sat for a while and watched the sun roll over the horizon.

He was pooped, but loved every minute of the beach. Below is a video of Thurston creating false memories of how warm the ocean was:

We all had so much fun and Thurston cannot stop talking about the beach - sorry Nicole, but I think we have a beach bum!

It was such an honor being the first to take him to the beach and I look forward to a summer / lifetime full of visits.

And, out of shameless self-advertising - check out my (EHo) blog here!!

Enjoyed dropping by, see you all next time.

Disneyland Slideshow

2009-02-16T09:17:00.001-08:00

Disneyland...An Adventure with a 2 1/2 year old or How I started to envy women who put their children on leashes.

2009-02-14T21:22:00.000-08:00

On February 3rd, Thurston and I loaded up into the car on a beautiful southern California day, and headed to Disneyland. Due to a bunch of quirky planning glitches, I decided that Thurston and I would go alone (not the original plan). This wasn't what I had totally envisioned for our first trip, but you know, y'got roll with it. I quickly had a stroke of genius. I took pictures with my cell phone through out the day, and sent them to my family. This way they could, sort of, be there in real time. They all called at various points, and it was like they were there! I had a good time doing that, and made it so I didn't feel so alone (grownup wise).

At the very least, he and I would have a day together. We regularly have "adventures" and thus we set off on another at about 10am. We couldn't have asked for a better day. We didn't hit any traffic, we listened to our favorite Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cd...singing the whole time in the car. It was bright and sunny and a balmy 78 degrees in beautiful Anaheim. Remember, part of my blog is journaling, so I don't forget....

Thurston kept talking about seeing whales. I think he thought, for a while, we were going to Sea World. As it turned out, he was right. We did see a (fake) whale. We got to the park, I had already purchased tickets so we got to walk right in. I am pretty sure that Thurston did not talk very much for the first couple of hours we were there. I decided that we should do the train first. Thurston is still talking about the train, and seeing the dinosaurs. He did not want to leave the train. In fact, he pitched a total fit. I tried to explain that there was so much more to see...he finally got it. He did NOT want to use the stroller. He walked the entire day. It wasn't until 7pm when he finally consented to sit in the stroller. Given that the park wasn't very busy, it actually was ok. The only time it really created an issue was in tomorrowland. He saw a cast/crew member walk into the buzz lightyear ride through a cast/crew member only entrance. He is still short enough to easily walk under the chains, forming the lines. He totally just walked in through the entrance, leaving me standing on the sidelines. I left the stroller, yelling his name, and jumping and ducking under the chains to try to get him. After nearly killing myself, I managed to get him, only to walk out and have another group of parents laughing at me. Good naturedly, of course! They were very sympathetic, and assured me they too had to do similar maneuvers in previous years. I had been worried about hurting myself, since I have not done any track moves since high school...even then it was debatable!

Rides, oh the rides. It was his first time on a carousel. We had a good time on that. I think he was trying to figure out how it worked the entire time. From the carousel we headed over to the Peter Pan ride. This is the longest wait of the day, and ended up being a quasi disaster. We got into the ride, and as soon as it got dark, and seemed like we were flying, he totally freaked. I did manage to get him to calm down, and at least tolerate the end of the ride. I decided that we would not do more rides in that vein for the rest of the trip. In the slide show you can see that Thurston did indeed, go on a car from Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. We did not go on the ride itself. This was the first of many pretend cars he HAD to sit in, sometimes multiple times.

While in Fantasyland we went on the Storybook cruise. We could do boat rides! No freak out. We also did the teacups. This was the only ride Thurston actually laughed on. I was laughing pretty hard as well. Although I don't think the video is too bad, remember that I did shoot it while on the teacup ride. You have been warned. I think it is worth watching just to hear Thurston laughing, but I am his mom.

We spent the majority of our time in Toontown. He had a great time here. He loved exploring all the clubhouse gang's houses. He also got to meet Mickey and Minnie. The first time we met Mickey, it happened pretty quick, and he wasn't totally sure of what was going on. After seeing Minnie, he decided that he needed to see Mickey again. This time, he was ready. The second set of photos of Mickey show that. I have video from a month or so ago, of Thurston singing the theme song to Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse. He loves that song and sings it all the time. I tried to "encourage" him to sing it for Mickey, but all that happened was me singing the song to Mickey. Again, I got a bunch of parents laughing. Note to self...child is not trained monkey...can think for himself...and choose not to humiliate self, as I regularly role model.

We challenged our fears in Buzz Lightyear ride, had fun on a night time Jungle Cruise, and totally had fun watching and listening in the Enchanted Tiki Room. The park closed at 8pm, and by about 7:15 I started heading towards the entrance. We walked leisurely back through the park (as Thurston now was ok with being in the stroller) and the stores on Main Street. We walked through downtown Disney, and got some snacks for the ride home. The ride home was quick and uneventful (ie, no traffic). We were home by 10:30, and were very excited to recount our adventure to Jay.

I know that not everybody is into Disneyland or Disney characters. Having grown up in Southern California, Disneyland was a huge part of my childhood and my siblings childhoods as well. This was a wonderful and joyful trip for me. Thurston is still a little young for many of the rides, but we did what we could, and enjoyed the beautiful day in the sun during the winter, and some quality one on one time. I believe that this is the first of many fun trips. Just like when I was a kid, I can't wait for the next trip to Disneyland.

The slippery razorblade to death. My 40th Birthday.

2009-02-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

On Monday January 19th I turned 40. My family wanted to throw a party for me, and I said "ok." What surprised my Mom and sister, Elyse (aka blogstalker), who took on the catering for the event, was that I gave them carte blanch with the menu.

They did a GREAT job. The food was so yummy! The menu consisted of foods that I have loved through the years. We had meatballs, cheeses, pates, baked brie, roasted garlic, oh my...I am trying to remember all the food. What was the stand out new food, was the Reuben sandwich dip that was served with mini pumpernickel bread. As soon as I get the recipe from my Mom, I will share! My brother brewed a keg of beer for the event. It was really tasty, kinda similar to a Boddingtons. My sister Rachel did this great centerpieces for the tables as well. She laboriously went through photos and photos of me from our childhood and pirnted them to fit on blocks of wood. She then created these pyramids on the tables with them. You can see them well on the table with the birthday cake. I think people got a kick out of seeing these photos of me. They even say that my son looks a bit like me as a kid! Last but not least, they got me a tres leche cake from DZ Akins.. YUMM!!!!

All the usual suspects were there. A few were missing, and you know who you are, I know you would have if you could have! Only one person not forgiven at this point for being a no show....

All in all...it was a wonderful night on the 24th of Jan when we celebrated! I loved being with my friends and family. Originally the Down's Family was going to play, but had to cancel last minute. I am sad about that, but ok with it, as I understand why. The dj (cd player mix) did just fine. I got a little tipsy, and just really enjoyed spending time with my family and friends. Thank you to all who were able to make it to celebrate with me!

FOOD!

More FOOD!

Ahh, the birthday cake.

We christened the new decks by placing the bar on the big one off the office/library/back room. I will be taking pix soon in day time so everybody can see the new work done!

My brother in law, Mike with his two girls sacked out in the middle of the party.

Annella was the party animal. She was my special party princess, and dressed as one as well!

As my friend Rebbecca said, Mike always did like to have two good looking girls on his arms!

Sweet Vaughn. He discovered the toys in Thurston's room. He was over the other day, and went straight there! He is growing up so fast. Where does the time go?

The fam on this special evening. If you didn't know, yes I cut my hair! Check out the gorgeous necklace my Mom had made for me for my birthday. She picked out all the beads and did it all in amethyst and sterling. I just love it, and wear it all the time now.

Carson is so dapper in his vintage sweater. He is so beautiful. I fear for the little girls out there in the future.

So this is the late crew of kids/young adult who graced my presence at the party.

Thurston on the left, Veronica in the middle and Nina, on the right.

So you all may or may not know Nina was the baby at Jay's and my wedding in 1996.

Thurston has his favorites, and pretty much nothing has ever topped Uncle Vince or Carson, well let it be said...my kid was all about Veronica. He had to be doing everything she was. Please note that they are playing with an old 10 key calculator of mine. Kept Veronica and Thurston occupied for what seemed like hours. Nina was good enough to play with them.

Hanging out in the hallway.

Jennifer, Katherina and me. We have all been friends since kindergarten.

I really love these ladies! They are very special to me.

Re-reading Books

2009-01-14T22:10:00.000-08:00

I have a couple of books, as an adult, I like to reread from time to time.
I am wondering if it time to do so. Been a while since I have pulled out Dune by Frank Herbert (my favorite to read in high stress) or Mists of Avalon by Marion Bradley Zimmer(if I am going to travel to England). Or maybe...Plant Dreaming Deep by May Sarton (spring and inspiration during seemingly dark times).

So much to read, so little time. Do I dare spend my precious time on something old and true or something new and unknown?

I have chosen best of both worlds a new (humor) book from a series I follow...Plum Spooky by Janet Evanovich...this stuff is way better than tv if I want to relax and tune out! (Please note that I am taking a break from The Source by Mitchum....a wee heavy in the historical fiction category...crave humor these days)

Dear reader...what is your choice of book to read again and again? and Why? Or why if you don't?

Fish Food

2009-01-05T21:59:00.001-08:00

Birch Aquarium at La Jolla

Unflattering & Ungenerous Dec. Update

2009-01-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

My holidays were hurried and un-pleasurable.
I was sick and had a sick kid for what is to be a joyous time of year.
All only made worse by serious and ugly extended family issues and with this you have a recipe for plain old yucks and blahs (and tears and bitching).
Normally I love this time of year. I get to see people I love and admire, give gifts (which I love to do), and have a bit of a respite from work.

I have felt so lackluster for the last 2 weeks.

I have not felt much like blogging, and I am trying to release the burdens I am metaphorically carrying on my back.

I read a story to Thurston the other night "Zen Shorts" by Jon J. Muth.
In the story is a sub-story that I think the universe wanted me to read.
It went as follows:

A Heavy Load

Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle.

The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk, she just shoved him out of the way and departed.

As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. "That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn't even thank you!"

"I set the woman down hours ago, " the older monk replied. "Why are you still carrying her?"

-Jon J. Muth

I can't help but identify with all the characters somewhat. Each have their issues, in my humble opinion. I am not an elephant about stuff, but when something bothers me to the core, it stays there for a while. In the case of this holiday, I am definitely the younger monk and Jay has been the older monk. My turn to let it go. Decisions have been made, and I don't need to let this jade my new year.

Can I say, that I was so happy for our routine to start again today?

More than my boys, I need the routine, and structure.

ramble ramble ramble ramble.

On a good note, I successfully made 4 dozen beautiful bagels for Hanukkah. I made plain, everything and rye bagels. My gravlax turned out nice as well. Another bomb of a pickle recipe. I am going to start at ground zero with the pickles. The olives on the other hand, have turned out AWESOME! They are so forgiving. I urge anybody who likes olives and is willing to give a little time, that it is most rewarding. I will post separately another time the gravlax. I told Elyse that I would photo it step by step and post it. It too is super easy!

Was Ward Cleaver a Drunk?

2008-12-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

So recently, I had a terrible migraine headache.
Jay was good enough to take Thurston to school, and came home and laid in bed with me in a darkened room for a couple of hours.

We discussed many things but the two that were the best that must be shared...

In the classic 60's Christmas cartoon, "Rudolf the Red nose Reindeer" we couldn't remember the name of the Character Yukon Cornelius the prospector (this was an innocent start of an innocent conversation, I assure you). Sadly in my incapacitated state all I could come up with was Yukon Jack, the prospector. Needless to say...we rewrote the portion of the story about the runaway misfits, and we decided we would NOT want to be with Yukon Jack on this trip. We were pretty sure that the sweet dentist elf and Rudolf were molested, and we won't even address the puking. Then the scenes with the Abominable Snowman...in our version we think Yukon Jack might have had something to do with this poor creature's name.

There is power to laughter, and strangely, as long as my eyes were covered and I laid on my left side, the laughter didn't make my headache worse.

The other one we contemplated was "Leave it to Beaver."
Ward was always so kind and understanding, so why were "the Beav" and Wally so scared to go to him when they screwed up? Is there some back story that we aren't aware of? Had Ward been a serious alcoholic? Was this why June wore thick makeup, and always jumped to when Ward needed something? Like a drink and pipe?
A dark and ugly spin on the world's most perfect family.

1976 BMW with Sidecar

2008-12-19T22:25:00.001-08:00

This bike was the last project that Jay had started with his Dad before he passed away.

We keep trying to make this bike run. It was converted to this setup, from a Russian DNPR. Technically the sidecar is from the Russian DNPR, which had been imported into England under the name of Neville. SO again Jay goes for the mix and match style of bikes. (See scooter in previous entry!)

This has been a real trial for Jay on many levels. We keep getting closer. Jay is unhappy with the clutch, so he is now taking it apart again, and rebuilding the clutch.

Pigs are in the trees and we are not sure how they got there

2008-12-19T22:08:00.001-08:00

This is the back of the house. I will try to find a pictures over time since we moved in 10 ½ years ago. The shingling is finally done, as you can sadly tell, it was done in stages, but I still love it.

We are finally getting ready to install the deck around the back part of the house. This is so exciting! The two sets of rickety stairs will be gone, and nice wide decks and stairs will be there instead.

The deck where the door is will be 8 feet wide and we are going to have built in benches with storage underneath to the stage right of the door. The deck will be covered with a stacked, peak roof, that is
Just under the existing peaked roof. This will lead out to a large patio and covered outdoor kitchen. The pillars and hardware are in, and the lumber for the deck got delivered today! Jay was working on sorting and staining it so installation can start!

This is our sweet unattached garage on one of those old fashioned and dying city design features "an alley."
After the deck is in, some minor repairs are going to be done to the garage and it will be painted barn red.

Nutty I know, but I love this pic.

A lot of upcoming work, but it truly is in progress at this point. This also means I can get started this spring on planting the various food related trees I want to plant, and get a real vegetable garden going. AND MY LONG AWAITED COMPOST PILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random relationship update

2008-12-18T18:59:00.001-08:00

I had wanted a month or so ago do a blog entry akin to what Mama Nomad did, but before I could, everything fell apart.

Jay and I have totally been at odds with each other, with Thurston, and mostly probably with ourselves. Jay retreats and gets defensive, and I in turn become reactive to his negative mood and outlook. Needlesstosay, it is a hard space to be in. Tuesday, after about 3 weeks of this, I went into melt down mode. Yuck. I hate crying, I hate crying on the phone with people I love. I hate being like that. I am the strong one. I can never let my guard down (of course until I hit melt down, duh). Well down it went at 9:30 with my sissy. Fortunately I have great siblings, who do get me, and are there for me in those moments. Rachel had sage advice and talked me off the ledge.

I followed her advice and backed off. Pretend for a while that Jay is out of town, to give him time to regroup. I mean, it is the holidays, his birthday (today), and things, in general, out there can come across as pretty shitty.

Well, yesterday we started to turn the corner, and today had some good communication. What we did different was actually spent time together alone. I know that so many people have said to us, make sure that you take time together, it is so important. We do family bed, so our time alone is pretty minimal. Mind you...NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would I change the family bed situation. But it does have it challenges at times. Family bed is one of many reasons I can give that make it challenging to have time together alone.

So today is Jay's birthday, and I just wanted him to know that this was his day. I had arranged for our babysitter for tonight. She works at the preschool that Thurston goes to. She too had a family birthday, and asked if Thurston could go with her straight after school. I had no issues with this, as we had done it in the past, and Thurston was totally good with it. Monika's nephew is one of Thurston's good pals at his preschool, and they just get to play and eat homemade mexican food. I don't think it gets much better than that!

Anyways, Jay and I were going to go to dinner at the Linkery here in North Park, but our day ended up a little different than we thought it might. At 3pm Jay got home from a motorcycle ride on his 76 BMW with sidecar. He has been working on this bike since before Thurston was born, and is still in troubleshooting mode. All I asked of him, was that he needed to remember "no matter what happens on the ride, that if the bike wasn't perfect we would deal with it together, and please don't let it get in the way of him enjoying his birthday."

The ride was rough, but Jay remembered my request, and when he got home, he wanted to get upset, but realized that maybe he was more hungry than upset. I suggested we go get food, where ever he wanted. He finally told me that he wanted to go to Jimmy Carter's Mexican Cafe, and have my lasagna for dinner. Could re rain check the dinner at the Linkery? Then the debate was, do we go get Thurston since we weren't going out to dinner, or let him stick with the plans we had already made for him? It didn't take us long to realize that we really wanted to remember what life was like before Thurston. He wanted time in the garage without having to worry about Thurston and I, and I wanted time in the house alone...just like prechild.

As I was taking a shower by myself this evening for the first time in months....
I realized how badly we need this. It isn't remembering who we are, but a mental break from the constant care of another human being. We need time in our space. Mind you, I love having Thurston, and our family. Sometimes though I often crave time in the house without the boys. I think this is the same for how Jay and I are together. We have always been together, but also very separate. Today was a perfect example of that. We have not had this since Thurston was born. I am thinking that I am going to ask Monika if she would be interested in doing this same thing 2x a month. I think it would go a long way for Jay's and my outlook on life, relationship and parenting.

I am off to go dry my hair. Thanks for listening/reading.

Is the Grinch really Scrooge?

2008-12-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

I pose to you, dear readers, that although Dickens is NOT credited on Seuss' great and mighty "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", do you think that it is a theme and variation of "A Christmas Carol?"
I believe it is. So, do I add it to my existing ACC list? Or does this start and yet another list...those that are theme and variation of ACC?

A sad sad pickle of a situation

2008-12-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

I'm ok (just in case you were worried), but I am sad to say what started as a beautiful batch went BAD very quickly.
The good news is that I identified the problem tout sweet.
I really should have taken pictures so others don't have to go thru this.

NEW PICKLE RULE:
ALWAYS DISSOLVE THE SALT IN THE WATER FIRST.
NEVER LAYER SALT AND CUCUMBERS. IT REDUCES THEM TO MUSH!

With this said, I will start another batch tomorrow or the next day. It is crazy how little detail info (about what can go wrong) is out there. With this next batch I am going to take pics the whole way along, just so if somebody else is crazy like me, they don't have to reinvent the wheel.

The olives on the other hand are doing GREAT!

A Christmas Carol Production List

2008-12-11T05:52:00.001-08:00

NAME	YEAR MADE	LENGTH	Scrooge Actor & Other notes
A CC	1908		Thomas Ricketts
Scrooge or Marley's Ghost	1901	0.11	silent film
A CC	1910	0.17	Marc McDermott (silent film)
A CC	1914		Charles Rock (Silent)
A CC	1915		silent film
A CC (Scrooge the Skinflint -in UK)	1916		Rupert Julian (silent)
Scrooge	1922		H.V. Esmond (silent)
Scrooge	1923	0.25	Russell Thorndike (silent)
Scrooge	1928	0.09	Bransby Williams
Scrooge	1935	1.18	Seymour Hicks
Classic A CC	1938	1.1	Reginald Owen
A CC	1943	1	William Podmore
A CC	1947		John Carradine
The Philco Television Playhouse: A CC	1948		Dennis King
A CC	1949	0.25	Taylor Holmes (narrated by Vincent Price)
A CC	1950	2	John Ruddock
Alister Sim A CC(also called Scrooge)	1951	1.26	Alister Sim
Fireside Theatre: A CC	1951		Ralph Richardson
Kraft Television Theatre: A CC	1952		Malcolm Keen
Kraft Television Theatre: A CC	1953		Noel Leslie
A CC	1954	1	Frederic March, Basil Rathbone
Tale from Dickens	1958		Basil Rathbone
Magoo Christmas Carol	1962	0.52	animated
Mr. Scrooge	1964		Cyril Ritchard (tv)
Scrooge	1970	1.53	Albert Finney
The Odd Couple: Scrooge gets an Oscar	1970		Jack Klugman
A CC	1972		Alister Sim (Animated)
A CC	1974		Michael Hordern
The Energy Carol	1975	0.11	Grant Munro
6 Million $ Man: A bionic CC	1976	1
Rich Little CC	1978	1
Scrooge	1978	1.1	Warren Graves
An American Christmas Carol	1979	1.38	Henry Winkler
Bugs Bunny Looney Christmas Tale	1979	0.3	animated/Mel Blanc
A CC at the Ford Theatre	1979	2	Ronald Bishop
A CC	1981	1.5	William Patterson
A CC - Animated	1982	1.09	unknown actors
Shower of Stars: A CC	1982	1.3	Richard Hilger
A CC	1982		Ron Haddrick (Animated)
Mickey Christmas Carol	1983	0.3	animated
Family Ties: A Keaton CC	1983
The Gospel According to Scrooge	1983	2	Robert Buchanan
GC Scott CC	1984	1.4	G. C. Scott
The Love Boat: Noel's CC	1984		1 of 3 storylines
A Jetson's Christmas Carol	1985	0.2	animated
John Grin's Christmas	1986	1	Robert Guillume
Scrooged	1988	1.41	Bill Murray
Blackadder's Christmas Carol	1988	1	rowan atkinson
Beverly Hills Buntz: A CC	1988		Dennis Franz (spinoff from Hill Street Blues)
Matlock: The Scrooge	1989		Andy Griffith
Scrooge: A Christmas Sarah	1990	0.3	Sarah Greene
A Flinstones' CC	1994	1.04
Bah Humbug	1994		James Earl Jones & Martin Sheen
A CC	1994	0.49	Toshiyuki Hiruma & Takashi Masunaga (Directors)(Animated)
A CC	1994		Jeremy Kerridge
Christmas Carol-Ballet	1995	1.5	Nothern Ballet Theatre
Ebbi	1995		Susan Lucci
A CC	1997	1.12	Tim Curry, Ed Asner (Animated)
Ms. Scrooge	1997		Cicely Tyson
Skinflint	1997	2	Hoyt Axton, Barbara Mandrell
An All Dogs CC	1998	1.13	animated
Ebenezer	1998	1.29	Jack Palance/ Rick Schroder
Patrick Stewart CC	1999	1.34	Patrick Stewart
Roswell: A Roswell CC	1999		Debatable…story line may not be in accordance with title
Holby City: A CC	2000		2 part-er
A CC	2000	1.15	Ross Kemp
Scrooge and Marley	2001	1	Dean Jones
Diva's CC	2002	1.28	Vanessa Williams
Christmas Carol-The Movie	2002	1.17	Simon Callow/Kate Winslet (animated)
Brer Rabbit's CC	2002	0.58	animated
A CC	2003	0.49	Japanese (Jetlag Productions)
A CC -The Musical	2004	1.37	Jason Alexander
The Muppet Christmas Carol	2005	1.25
A CC	2005	1.32	Tori Spelling/William Shatner/Gary Coleman
A Sesame Street CC	2006	0.45	Caroll Spinney
A CC/Old Scrooge	2007	0.25	Russell Thorndike (Animated)
A Witchmas Carol	2007	1.28	Sabrina the teenage witch
Barbie CC	2008	1.1	animated

Is it possible...another obsession?

2008-12-11T05:04:00.000-08:00

The answer is yes.
For years Jay and I have talked about one of my favorite books...A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens. Yes I know that I am Jewish, but I love the book and have for years. Anyhow, Jay and I every year at this time talk about how some network should do an all day marathon of the various productions of A Christmas Carol. Then last year we started thinking about all the productions we could think of. Well, it finally happened. I super geeked out tonight, after a particularly stressful work day. I set up a file in excel, and started recording. Then I went kinda crazy, started looking online for ones we had forgotten about. I have remembered/found 76 productions from US, UK and Canada. These are all TV or Movies. Then you can add to this list another 5 (1 for each, Germany, Italy, Russia, Brazil, Mexico). Now I have insomnia, and had to come back to this. It is after 5am, and well...here are the fruits of my crazy ocd labor. I am still trying to find tv shows that have done "Scrooge" productions.

Dear reader, please let me know if you can think of any that I have missed, and what your favorite "A Christmas Carol" production is.
My favorite is the 1999 production with Patrick Stewart (yes, I love Next Generation & Picard).

I ended up doing some abbreviations:
A CC= A Christmas Carol likewise CC=Christmas Carol

Here is the list:

OK, as it was in excel, it is coming as it's own post.

Pickles and Olives

2008-12-07T20:43:00.001-08:00

I have been obsessed with trying to:

a) actually successfully make kosher-style dill pickles (which technically are fermented)

b) try to find free fresh olives, but to no avail.

A story about pickles and me:

I love pickles. My nick name in my family is nickel-pickle or just pickle to my parents.

For the last 3 years I have on again off again had fermented pickle failures and successes.

I finally got an old family recipe from my Auntie Char. The recipe was exactly where I felt I was going in my interpretations of a lot of recipes. Deliciously vague. I will update along the way. The good news is that for this last year I have only had successes in this arena, it has now become a matter of mastering the flavor that I am looking for (consistently). I really like/want the sour pickle experience, so it requires more processing/curing time. The problem I have had this year is trying to nail down the right salt/water ratio for the brine (for my palette). I am inclined to trust Auntie Char's Mother's recipe, since it has been followed for years and this was the only part of the recipe that had been specific. Anyways got a batch started today, in hopes that it will be ready for Hanukkah (which I am confident that it will be).

Another piece of non-fiction:

A few months ago my dear friend Mz M. told me that she had started collection olives from public trees and was doing furious research on brining/processing her own olives. She lives where there are a lot of olive trees planted by the city, fruit ferociously, and just goes to waste. She just can't stand it! I then think, well I live in San Diego, total Mediterranean climate. I am sure that I must pass a ton of olive trees and take no notice...so I go on the lookout...can't find any. I start talking to people. They can't think of any either. I can only think that at a studio apartment I lived at in the early 90's had one, and I am a bit chicken to go trespassing, although I am fairly confident that those olives are going to waste as well.

Anyhow come forward to today...I am at North Park Produce (where I can get the pickles and dill at a decent price and quantity I need) and what do I see? I see FRESH OLIVES for $1.49

per pound (which had not been there a month ago when I was last there) Not really knowing what I am doing, except based on Mz. M's experiences, I decide to just right into the deep end. I buy 2 1/2 pounds, my pickle supplies and I am off.

I am following Mz. M's collective experience, and processing in the same way. The big labor in this (and I seem to be addicted to labor intensive food stuff) is pitting the olives. I use my mortar and pestle and "smash" or "crush" about a 1/2 of pound and think a few things:

a) these are WAY WAY juicier than I ever thought

b) the juice stains your hands and clothes black, that seem really difficult to get out.

c) there has to be an easier/more efficient way to do this pitting thing.

Light bulb goes on overhead...CHERRY PITTER. Now maybe some of you are thinking, duh...., but I was a woman so excited that I actually had found fresh olives that I wasn't really processing much beyond that. Also, I live in San Diego...cherries in yards are NOT plentiful here, so a reason to own a cherry pitter really make a lot of sense until now.

I left Jay and Thurston and ran to Bed, Bath and Beyond, and got one. Incidentally it happened to be called an "cherry/olive pitter". The processing time shortened phenomenally. I found that I could pit 2 pounds in about 20 minutes. I then decided that I needed more, as I was not sure when the season would end, and since I was already making my hands black, I should really make it worth it. I now knew better of what I was looking for, and picked through the bulk fresh olives. I had old ladies trying to vibe me away, but I could not be deterred. I got another 2 pounds!

The first picture is during the pitting process. I am for the next 6 days soaking them in filtered water, and changing the water every day.

This is a picture of the fruit of my labor for today!

PS...also made a batch of homemade brownies for my boys, who were ticked that they didn't get any that I made for a party we attended last night, and made another round of meat pies to freeze for a quickie dinner during this crazy time of year!

Me and my closest 300,000 neighbors

2008-12-07T20:23:00.001-08:00

So on Friday Dec 5th, Thurston and I loaded up into our friends' Andrew and Theresa's Volkswagen van and headed to Balboa Park for what the park calls December Nights.

I had made some nice hand sized "meat pies" and they had just come out of the oven, so I bagged them up with some fresh challah (braided egg bread) I had just made that day. We all ate dinner in the van while we searched for parking.

The local news had said that 300,000 people were expected in the main portion of the park for this event on this evening! In years past we have gone with Andrew and Theresa and their daughter Veronica and had a blast. The last couple of years, we have gone with Elyse and Vince. This year they double dated with some friends and we discussed meeting up somewhere in the park.

Let me just say that it was PACKED! It is so much fun though. Everybody out at night with the park all done up. The park is probably my most favorite place here in San Diego, besides my home. All the people, all the kids...it just feels like a closer community than most times.

Tons of food stands, people singing, various choir groups singing, the museums are all open to the public, the local ballet school was doing free performances of vignettes from the Nutcracker.

It just feels good. I love it when people reclaim the night.

In years past Andrew, Theresa, Veronica and I have gone to Mopa and taken pictures in their old time-y photo booth. This year..Thurston and I did it. Here are the best 2. I forgot my camera, but Theresa got a bunch of photos on her camera, and so did Vince on his, but I don't have them yet from them.

Yes, we did end up finding Elyse and Vince and spent a little time with them as well!

We got home at about 10:45. Thurston and I were totally pooped!

A Vodka Quickie

2008-12-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

Mama Nomad-

This one is really for you, and it seems silly that I didn't post this at the time of mentioning it.

The cinnamon vodka is tre' easy!

Ingredients:

Time

1 bottle of your favorite mid price vodka

1 LARGE cinnamon stick.

Insert cinnamon stick into vodka bottle and close up again.

Let sit for a month or so. I regularly turn bottle upside down to mix up.

Ready to drink 3-4 weeks, can sit for up to 2 months. I don't recommend leaving the cinnamon stick in longer that that, a woodie taste can occur. You can either decant the vodka to get the cinnamon out or use a skewer and pull it out.

Serving recommendations:

Frozen shooters. Serious warming effect for a cold cold night.

A friend thought it might be delicious to add a bit to hot chocolate for an adult version of Mexican hot chocolate.

Y'all still have time to do this for a holiday present!

This is the vodka I started on Thanksgiving Day. I got this vodka at Trader Joe's and came in these groovey bottles. The cinnamon that I had was short sticks and as an experiment, I put 2 in one bottle and 1 in the other. The one on the left has the two, and seems to be flavoring the vodka faster.

Update for November 2008

2008-12-01T19:01:00.000-08:00

Lets see...The month of November was trying spent trying to recuperate from all the blogging I did from October....hahaha....

1. Played with kittens...see following cute pictures.

Notice smiling and content husband with 2 very happy kitters. MAJOR VICTORY!

He was quite reluctant to resume pet parentage. He has once again come over to the dark side, muahhahhhahha.

2. Worked, and kept telling myself that I was going to do a "day in the life" for the blog that still has not happened.

3. Thurston got and still has double ear infections.

4. I didn't feel well either for about a week. Which lead to an ocd breakdown. Yeesh!

5. I put together the Thanksgiving for Thurston's preschool, and invited all parents and kids to attend. We had something like 35 people here (and I mean our house). We did do potluck, but I did the turkey, cranberries, mashed potatoes, and the homemade pumpkin pies. I could insert a pic here, but do any of us really need to see another Thanksgiving feast at this point? I think not....

6. We (and by we I mean Jay and my brother in law Mike) actually have started on the backyard. The Chaos is getting tamed...wait, did I just see a pig fly by?

7. Processed all the pumpkins I had. This involved roasting and pureeing and pickling some as well. I will let y'all know how the pickled ones turn out.

8. Processed a batch of pickled pearl onions. You just can beat these things! Labor intensive, but yummy.

9. Still trying to work my way through my first James Mitchner novel "The Source". I am about half way there...over 1000 pages on this one.

10. Working on presents for the loved ones.

11. Working on annual newsletter to friends and family (which is photo intensive).

12. Trying to find a haircut I will like for Thurston. To no avail, so his hair just keeps getting longer, but in all truth..I like it long.

13. Made cinnamon vodka for my Dad for his birthday (in November). Due to that successful (and easy) venture, I am making 2 more bottles for my brother's wedding in March.

14. Got to visit with a very missed girlfriend for a scant few days. Di-miss you heaps! No pictures of this event. Purely a memory occasion only.

15. The normal stuff that goes on in life...gardening, cleaning, cooking, working, parenting...the choice tidbits you keep to yourself, you know?

More to come soon I am sure!

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-04T10:46:00.001-08:00

I, like the crazy weirdo I am, decided that I was going to make Thurston's costume this year. Granted, I have been enamoured with my sewing machine, but only had a semester of sewing in 7th grade. It has been a while, since I have tried to do anything of any complexity.

We gave Thurston the choice of Rocket or Robot. He chose Rocket. I got my creative juices flowing, and made the costume (no pattern, but in my head). Jay and I decided that Thurston not only could be a rocket, but perhaps a flaming can of tuna......

So the big day comes...Thurston refuses to put on his costume. I can't even get him in it to see if it will work. Hence the previous pictures of Jay holding up the costume. Marqui had a party at school, and all the kids were to come with their costumes. I bring Thurston's, but still no desire to wear it. He did finally put the rocket hat on, which I got a blurry pic of (as seen here). Funny enough, his little friend Diego decided that he wanted to wear Thurston's costume. I thought I was going to cry. Finally someone was going to put this costume on. Here is sweet, sweet Diego in the Rocket costume. Thanks Diego!

After school, we came home, made veggie chili with soy-rizo (soy chorizo) and Alan, Christina & Carson came over to hang with us. I snapped this one of Carson, and I can't stand how cute it is.

After dinner and handing out candy, we decided to load the kids up into the wagon and head down to Mike and Amy's house, and visit aka trick or treat them.

Carson and Thurston are raiding baby Vaughn's toys here...Thurston wanted to wear boots like Carson, so we put on his rain boots and he was stoked!

Mama Amy with oh so tired and serious Baby Vaughn!

I decided that I needed a picture of us as well...I am not sure where Jay went. I think Alan might have been ready to head home at that point....herding toddlers is like herding cats....

The Night Before Halloween or How Martha Stewart Lied to Me

2008-10-31T08:30:00.001-07:00

As if working and doing a normal volunteer/sign up thing at Thurston's school wasn't enough, I decided that I needed make sure I did extra cooking!

Signed up to make "spooky treats" for T's Halloween party at school. I had gotten on deep discount some Halloween cookie cutters and thought to myself...fun...Time to try the royal icing gig again. I always forget the labor involved in this stuff. So while dough is chilling, rising, I made fillings for chicken pot pie and quiches...managed to get done: 2 large quiches, a chicken pot pie (from scratch...including crusts for pie & quiches), homemade sugar cookies (and decorated), 2 loafs of challah, soaked beans for veggie chili for Halloween, loaf of bread for the sandwiches I am also making for T's school Halloween party. Thurston is standing in front of part of the fruits of my labor.

Martha is full of crap. I know I try not to use "language" on the blog, but anybody who knows me knows it is there. I have for years tried to imitate her with her cookie decorating and failed miserably. This is NOT the easiest thing to do. I did finally get the concept of base coat of frosting, then doing the finer decorating. Just get the base coat on, is a process in and of itself!

Martha does not tell you stuff, like, keep the cookie cutter design simple (for the novice), and tips for a "smooth" base coat. I discovered that it was easier (but messier) to take a large "swipe" and get as much of the cookie covered, then go back and "trace" or "carve" the sides of the cookie to reintroduce the shape back to the cookie.

I did ghosts, pumpkins, bats, and cats.

I only had purple, pink and black food coloring, so I went as simple as I could. Decided that I would do white and black, and outline, with maybe some additions for smiley faces (come on folks...these are preschoolers and toddlers...)

I am quite happy with the pumpkins and ghosts. Yes, I have a white pumpkin this year. Look at the welcome Sukkot entry & you will see it in the pictures. I felt so confident at one point while decorating that I gave the ghosts bellybuttons. Ultimately, decided that the cats and bats shouldn't have faces. It just looked to weird!

Got to go and put the sandwiches together....more on Halloween to come!

New Members of the Tribe

2008-10-29T21:10:00.001-07:00

After almost a year hiatus I (and really I mean we) made the leap once again...

Our friends Alex and Monica had rescued a cat, that ended up being pregnant.

They asked us, and several other friends if anybody was interested, as many of the local agencies told them, they were not accepting black cats. I guess there are too many of them or something... In any case, I told Monica that we would take a kitten and the mama. Well it turned out that Mama was strictly an outdoor cat, and was bonkers inside all the time, so we decided that Mama would go back to live in Alex and Monica's yard (we would help them with the spay costs, as none of us want this to happen again), and we would adopt another one of the kittens.

It seems to be my karma, but I am meant for boy cats and brothers at that. My last boys were a whole litter I ended up keeping, because I couldn't bear to part with them. In any case we are proud to announce the arrival of two new kittens!!!!!!!!!

Here is Thurston with the two kittens on the couch. The kittens have taken to the house and our life. They are super sweet, and as important, use the cat box!

This little one came to us named. His name was sooo appropriate.

Su nombre es Nachooooo Libre!

"There will be no foolish wand waiving or silly incantations in this class..."

Presenting the honorable Severus Snape!

(or as Jay likes to call him...not Nacho)

These guys are about 8 weeks old, and I thought I would put my hand up so y'all could get a feel of their size. These guys are really cute and sweet. They play and tumble until they just can't stand it and fall asleep where ever they are. Thurston wakes up in the morning asking "Mama, where Nacho?"

My Refrigerator

2008-10-24T19:41:00.001-07:00

Wow. Since my sis and her friends have been putting their refrigerator up, thought maybe I would too.... It required 2 photos....It looks like I need to do some straightening up.

I entertained last weekend, and it always looks crazy after I do so. Freezer on top, fridge below. Jay and I were just talking that we think we might have to replace this one at the beginning of the year. I am hard on my kitchen appliances.

Please note that on the top shelf of the fridge is indeed, a lazy susan. This was the best thing I ever added to my fridge. Makes getting to small stuff easy and economic on space.

Prominent items:

Eggs

Butter

Milk (aka Muggle)

-OK story on the muggle. Thurston calls his bottles of milk "muggle" since a very young age. I originally thought that maybe it was a bastardization of milk, but at the time this started, he could say milk. My final theory on this, is that, until fairly recently I tried to handle bottle feeding as close as I could to breast feeding. He and I would "snuggle" and have a bottle. I think he combined milk and snuggle into "muggle". The phrasing has just stuck, and the whole family calls milk "muggle" now. Ok...maybe my Dad doesn't....I don't think the muggle has anything to do with my Harry Potter obsession!

Roasted Garlic

Various Homemade/Homegrown Jams

Salsa

Almond & Peanut Butter

Bread and Tortillas-Corn & Flour

Not seen in drawers are veggies, potatoes, various cheeses and dried/cured meats (like salami and pepperoni)

The EVER PRESENT Leftovers:

Fried Chicken from family picnic

Stuffing from Sukkot

Carne Asada from tonight's dinner

mac n cheese with ground beef... even I have rough cooking days...although it was from scratch.

Freezer has to always have some ice cream.

I keep my nuts and grains in the freezer.
Various meats (although I need to do a Costco run soon).

Various baking ingredients go in the door of the freezer as well.

Oh yeah, I made a batch of maple baked beans (which we love) in the crock pot and I decided to freeze some of them for side dishes on other nights.

Lastly, every freezer needs a frozen teething ring, and a cold pack.

To much detail? I want to see your fridge and freezers.....

No muggle for you...quit breaking my life!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-23T14:43:00.000-07:00

You are under my power! Bring me MUGGLE, please.

2008-10-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

Family Picnic & Apple in Julian

2008-10-20T09:49:00.001-07:00

Every year we, as a family, meaning my parent's family, go on a picnic in the fall to Julian. We have been doing this since I was "wee tiny" (Thurston's words). This year was no exception. We meet at William Heise Park, and picnic. This year, I coordinated food. I made fried chicken, an Asian cabbage salad with raisins and almonds, chocolate chip cookies, snicker doodle cookies, and various jars of pickles I have made through out the summer. Mom made her infamous potato salad and brought a crock of beef barley soup. At first I wasn't feeling the photo love, but then got into the groove after a while.

I just love the cousins pics....They are getting along really well these days!

Eho and Vince brought Vince's niece Lauren to this picnic.

Despite Rachel being in Whittier all weekend, she managed to put together a nature scavenger hunt and prizes. Eho, Nellie, and Lauren were a team and won. Definitely the winner in that they managed to find "shells" on the list on a pair of broken flip flops that had sea shells glued to the straps. In hind sight, I should have taken a picture, oh well. I hope that we do more games next year. It was really fun.

I married a surly man ;P

Man, do I miss that baby love!

For the last several years Mike has brought a portable, crank Victrola.

He spins all the really old records, and I can't imagine a picnic without them.

This is one of my favorite photos from the day.

APPLE PICKING

Eho had suggested that we go apple picking as an activity. It was great. I hadn't gone apple picking since I was a kid. Thurston dug the heck out of it.

Uncle Vince was good enough to lift Thurston up to get some good apples.

Thurston loved just sitting and looking at the fruit on the ground, and occasionally eating an apple or two.

This particular farm had a new windmill at the edge of the field we were picking in. Thurston just wanted to watch it and watch it. When we left, he told the windmill "bye, see you later."

Sweet pic of Uncle Vince trying to get a face shot of T-bone.

Eho being silly.

Welcome Sukkot

2008-10-19T19:50:00.001-07:00

Full of Life Now

Full of life now, compact, visible,
I, forty years old the eighty-third year of the States,
To one a century hence or any number of centuries hence,
To you yet unborn these, seeking you.

When you read these I that was visible am become invisible,
Now it is you, compact, visible, realizing my poems, seeking me,
Fancying how happy you were if I could be with you and become your comrade;
Be it as if I were with you. (Be not too certain but I am now with you)

-Walt Whitman

Welcome those dear friends near and far to our sukkah.
Those need of refreshment and relief are welcome as well.

Shabbat under the Sukkah

2008-10-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

Jay and I worked on the yard and I had decided that I wanted a most comfortable and tent-like, yet oh, so temporary sukkah. This was to be my first, guess that makes me a sukkah virgin. Ok, no jokes.....hahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!

Anyhow, as it worked out with various schedules, the only night that would work for us was Friday. So we had Shabbat under the Sukkah.

Thurston just hanging out that afternoon. It has become one of his favorite places to be.

Shabbat dinner:
Appetizer: cheese (various) with fresh bread
Roasted Turkey (Andrew carved quite aptly) with Stuffing with onion, leek, apple and raisins.
Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes (Andrew got his mash on...Thanks!)
Homemade Challah
Asparagus in balsamic vinaigrette
Theresa brought a yummy caprese salad
Christina brought a beautiful green salad with candied walnuts
Evelyn brought a delicious coleslaw
Dessert: Homemade apple pie (with cheese) and cherry pie (with vanilla ice cream)

This picture doesn't do it justice, but I ran lights along all the sides and "top" portions of the sukkah. I was inspired by the pictures I saw of the "sukkah of lights" that had been built a couple of years ago in Jerusalem.

I was so happy to have built one this year. Even more so, so many dear loved people came to eat with us in it. The weather was temperate and beautiful, and all who came lovingly indulged my need for ritual. It has been a most joyous Sukkot in our house (and temporary one).

For anybody who wants to know more about Sukkot:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkot

For anybody who wants to know more about Shabbat:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbat

Buttermilk Spice Muffins...the recipe

2008-10-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

Leah-I hear you loud and clear...from now on recipes shall accompany ;P
This recipe comes from the chain Mimi's Cafe:

Buttermilk Spice Muffins

Muffin Batter:
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter or margarine
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup + 1 tablespoon buttermilk

Nut Topping:
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup walnuts, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Grease the baking tins with butter or margarine
Method
Preheat oven to 375°. In a mixing bowl, cream the sugar and the butter together with an electric mixer. When they are thoroughly mixed, add eggs and beat one more minute.Sift the flour into a separate bowl, together with the baking soda, nutmeg and the cinnamon.Add the flour and the buttermilk to the first mixture, mix at low speed until smooth. To avoid lumps in the batter, add the wet and dry ingredients alternately, in small amounts.Make the nut topping: Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl.
Grease muffin tins with butter or margarine. You can also use paper baking cups. Fill each cup 3/4 full of batter. Add a full, rounded tablespoon of nut topping on top of each muffin cup of batter. Bake immediately or the topping will sink to the bottom of the muffin. Bake at 375° for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown. A toothpick inserted in the middle of the muffin should come out dry. Home ovens heat differently from commercial ovens so you may need to adjust the temperature or the baking time accordingly.Recipe yields 12 standard-size muffins, or six Mimis size muffins. If using the jumbo muffin pans, reduce the oven temperature by 25° and increase the baking time 5-10 minutes.

Thurston and Carson

2008-10-16T23:44:00.001-07:00

Carson is probably as close as it gets for a 2 year old to have a "best friend". We start the day, every day, with the same question..."Mama, see Alan and Carson today?" Well, the Clark/DiCandillo clan and the Tellier clan try very hard to get together as often as possible. This last visit was hilarious. Thurston and Carson decided that ALL TOYS must be out. They were quite pleased with themselves and spent a lot of time giggling. By the end of the evening we had eaten, played, picked up, and they thought it was time for bed. Although they had enough energy to keep saying "cheese" for the camera!

Buttermilk Spice Muffins

2008-10-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

They looked so picture perfect. Had too....

My kid loves motorcycles.

2008-10-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

Thurston couldn't get enough of this toy at a playground this last weekend.
I love how he is sitting back in a cool "race" position on the 2nd photo.

Nate's But Farm

2008-10-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

Bate's Nut Farm aka Nate's But Farm (hehehe!)

The collective pile that came home with the clan.

The pumpkin patch is the finest photo op any parent can ask for, providing that your kid will stop climbing long enough to turn around and look at you!

I love this picture. I just love Izzy's expressions!

The cousins goofin'

Nellie looks so serious and intense...Thurston, well he looks like he is pooping a GIANT pumpkin. I guess it is par for the course being that we were at Nate's But Farm.

Thurston and I had never been on a hayride.

I love this portrait of Thurston. Thurston went on his first pony ride. He was so excited, then once on the pony he got freaked. As long as I walked next to him, he was good.

Mama and Thurston happy together. A break in my melancholy.

It was a good day full of smiles and new experiences.

Melancholy

2008-10-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

I feel like my mind has been seized with melancholy.
I am not sitting around crying, but I feel sad and numb.
I am not in a fog, but feel mentally tired.
I can only come out of this melancholy for moments.
I feel removed.
I feel disengaged.
My actions are by rote.
I want to be around people and run from them at the same time.
I crave intimacy and solitude all in the same breath.
How can this be?
I want to leave this mental space, but yet there is comfort in it.
Juxtaposition at its finest.
I can see why there was a thriving monastery community prior to modern psychotropic drugs.
The last comment is the closest I can come to humor right now.

Secret Journey

2008-10-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

Upon a secret journey
I met a holy man
His blindness was his wisdom
I’m such a lonely man
And as the world was turning
It rolled itself in pain
This does not seem to touch you
He pointed to the rain
You will see light in the darkness
You will make some sense of this
And when you’ve made your secret journey
You will find the love you miss
And on the days that followed
I listened to his words
I strained to understand him
I chased his thoughts like birds
You will see light in the darkness
You will make some sense of this
And when you’ve made your secret journey
You will find the love you miss
You will see light in the darkness
You will make some sense of this
You will see joy in this sadness
You will find this love you miss
And when you’ve made your secret journey
You will be a holy man

-Sting

Death and Life

2008-10-06T01:57:00.000-07:00

For a more than a week now, I have been pondering and thinking, thinking and pondering.
I think it is starting to get me in trouble.
I sit here, unable to fall back asleep at 1:58am.

A week ago, my dear "Uncle" Sammy died. I believe he was 84 or 85.
It was expected, but sad and tragic none the less.
He had terminal cancer that caused him a great deal of pain.
This man has been a part of my life since I was 6 or 7.
He has been more than like a grandparent to me. He was a friend always with a gentle word of encouragement and love.
He showed me love in death. He was in hospice care for the last 5 days of his life, on serious morphine.
Even in this drugged, coma-esc state, he would hold out his hand to hold his beloved, precious wife's hand, and then kiss it. Even when he couldn't talk or barely open his eyes any more.

I fear this. I fear this for my parents, siblings, friends and myself.
I keep telling myself that if I look at it, don't hide from it, I will see beauty in it.
Beauty in death. Beauty in death. Beauty in death. Beauty in death.
It is the cycle. Beauty in the cycle. It is the cycle. Beauty in the cycle. Beauty.

Man, I want to see the beauty. I don't want to feel the selfish sadness that overcomes me.
I don't want to let my sympathy and empathy take over and replace the faces that are actual with the imagined. Keep reality, let my imaginings of the future lay fallow.

Death makes me obsessed with the current. Do I show my husband, son, family and friends that I love them enough? Do I make enough time with them? Will I wish I had just one more minute? One more lunch? One more laugh? One more cry? I make those things my priorities, and then I drown in the rest of my life.

Life.
Work.
Pleasure.
Love.
Death.

How do we make all of these fit together? How do we balance them? I don't know. I always get up and try again the next day.

I will miss my Uncle Sammy's kind ways and words. Perhaps the beauty is in what I and anybody else who knew him will remember through our days.

Books

2008-09-20T17:07:00.001-07:00

Thanks Leah (see link on left for Mama Nomad's blog) for putting up what your family had read this summer.

I think that was a great post! One of your friends had stated that she had a list on her blog of books she completes. Great idea, and I have now added this same feature to my blog.

Book worm...I know....

Grape Harvesting 2008

2008-09-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Let the graping continue.

So each year, I keep thinking that we will have a smaller crop, as this last year was so large. The vine has grown so densely that it is really hard to harvest the grapes from underneath. My brother in law, Vince, was so kind to offer to help me harvest the grapes from the top of the trellis. Mind you, I had already harvested a ton (ok, exaggeration) from the areas I could get to. I want to estimate that I have already harvest 50-75 lbs of grapes from what I personally picked. Unplanned Elyse and Vince came over today, and I was asking Vince when he could help me, and he said, "why not now?" So we get out the ladder, kinda review the structure and where he should be placing his feet. he initially before going up the latter sent me in for a couple of large containers. No prob. I knew which ones I had personally used in large picking....He gets up the ladder and says, "Nicole, what about large buckets or crates? I think you have more up here than you think." So four crates later, and a large Nordstrom bag, I estimated that we picked easily 200 lbs of grapes this afternoon.

After a while, I decided to head up the ladder, and I was amazed. I went back and got my camera to document. I felt like I was looking at a roof top garden. Vince had said that there was a big burly vine growing across the roof. Not so good for the health of the roof, so we pruned that one back (lots of grapes on it--basically that is what went into the Nordstrom bag). I was amazed at how beautiful it looked to me. So lush and green. Try to remember that the trellis is 7 feet wide and 25 feet long, plus it has started growing over the new trellis over the walk way in the front yard. I will be adding more trellis along the front of the house too.

So here is the harvest from today. I suspect that there maybe another crate full up on the trellis, I think Vince said he got most of it, but I think we might do one more run up there. I suspect that each crate weighs about 50 lbs. I could be wrong about that though. My estimate comes from Thurston weighs 30 lbs, and these were a lot heavier than him.
I will be juicing the grapes and making jelly (already done a batch from a previous picking).
I will be making raisins (also done a previous batch).
I will be Raisins au Vinaigre (pickled grapes-a recipe from Provence, France)
I will be making vinegar.
I will freeze some for fruit Popsicles.
I think I will wait till next year, after doing research for making wine. I am not sure that this will make good wine though.
Any other thought on what to do with the grapes?

10th day of Elul, 5768 (09/10/2008)

2008-09-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

I am going to make a leap here....
I am going to guess, pretty much anybody who is coming to this blog, knows me and my family (extended or not).

Today was a huge day for me.

Although I have always considered myself Jewish (my Father and his family are Jewish), I was not raised within a Jewish religious context. In fact religion was pretty much absent from my childhood, except for what I tried to explore and create for myself.

About 2 years ago, after years of reading and talking to people about their faith, I decided to make a leap of faith myself. I decided that I really was not only the cultural/secular Jew I thought I was, but really was a Jewish in religious beliefs as well. Specifically, I subscribe to what is called the "Reform" movement in Judaism. In the last 2 years, I have studied with 3 Rabbi's, asking me to read, write, practice, read and write even more. I have had many intense meetings and experiences through this process.

In accordance with Jewish Law, I, today, sat in front of what is called a Bet Din. This is a council of Jewish Judges (comprised of Jewish Clergy). They determine whether or not I am ready to be accepted within the House of Israel.

I am happy to say, I was. This is the culmination of a lot of work for me, and has really asked me to formulize what my spiritual beliefs are. It has been totally powerful. I also have this wonderful feeling of connecting with generations of family that came from this tradition before me.

Thanks to everybody who helped me during this process. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Seemingly Lazy Sunday (08/17/08)

2008-08-18T20:51:00.001-07:00

I struggle with this issue of feeling like I always need to be productive. I think this is slowly driving me to insanity. Oh wait, think I might already be there!

This Sunday we slept in, which felt really good, and I really didn't feel like doing much, but forced myself to move forward with the day. At the end of the day I really got a bit accomplished but it still doesn't feel like a drop in the bucket.

1) Went to my work's storage unit, and got work related documents I needed for Monday.

2) Talked with C and Diana and had "real" conversations with them.

3) Got my kid bathed and in the process, got myself groomed (like shaving ;-) ) and Jay too!

4) Oh this next item requires more info. A year ago, I had attempted to make fish and chips from scratch. It was a dismal mess, and I ended up in tears. I knew that it would take me a while to work up my courage to make it happen again. About 3 weeks ago, I got some frozen cod thinking I might get the courage up to try again. I was at Trader Joe's the other day, and they had sweet Vidalia onions in, and I thought, hm mm, my own onion rings might be tasty. I preferred the battered onion rings, and for some reason seemed less intimidating to me than the fish. Lastly a few weeks ago, Jay and I were watching a "Throw Down with Bobby Flay" and he challenged some chef in NYC, who apparently makes the best fish and chips outside of London.

His whole deal was that you should use mineral water instead of beer. I thought, gosh, I always have mineral water around the house, and it is cheaper than beer. Why not? I have already had one very dismal failure, how much worse could this turn out, right? So I went online and looked at several (beer...sub w/ mineral h20) batter recipes and found the recipe that seemed to be repeated with some minor spice changes-used garlic granules instead of garlic salt and added some dry mustard for good measure. Anyhow, the onions and the fish turned out SUPER GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! I had to take pictures. Jay and I are thinking that the next round we might do will be zucchini, mushrooms, and balls of mashed potatoes. Leah-if you are looking at this, do you think I could substitute the wheat flour with rice flour, or do I need to do a mix of rice and something else? Anyways-here were the ultra delicious grease-gut bombs (not really-on the grease-gut bomb part). Also served with my homemade ketchup.

5) So if you don't know my house and yard, several years ago I planted a single red flame grape vine on the south side of my house. This is where we have our front doors and a deck with a trellised top to it. I would say the deck is 7 feet wide, and 25 feet long. It is densely covered with the grape vine, and I get a gazillion grapes. I try every year to process as many as I can. I make my own juice and then make jelly, and I also have a dehydrator and make my own raisins. I have another couple of recipes I want to try this year (marinated grapes-french provincial recipe) I also have a batch of vinegar started. I would also love to learn how to preserve my own grape leaves for dolmas. I do not use any pesticides, and think they are just beautiful. Anyways, it is the time of year that I will pick 5 or 6 lbs of grape 2x a week, and need to process them to get them ready for the dehydrator or to make into juice. The down side of all this grape stuff is the processing. You wash the grapes then need to take them off the vine. This is really labor intensive, but now that I have a laptop, I placed in the movie "The Commitments" and went at it. It was the nicest and easiest processing yet! (about 1.5 hours). Juice made with this batch and I will make jelly in the next couple of days.

While I was processing the grapes, Jay and T went to the park to play for a while. They had a good time and got home in time for us to get dressed and head up to Escondido to meet Elyse and Vince at Stone Brewery. It was a 40 minute drive, but I am glad we did it. The food was good, although I think a little on the pricey side. The beer was tasty too. The restaurant and the garden were wonderful though. We had a really nice time going, and I am glad we did. I love these pics of Eho and Vince with Thurston.

All in all, don't think it was a waste of a day, but I think I gotta get over this productivity thing!

PS. Yes Melanie...wrote this while on benedryl (sp?)

More in Portland...

2008-08-14T00:12:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, based on Leah's suggestion regarding crowdedness...Daena and I decided to go to Omsi (Oregon Museum of Science & Industry). Website: http://www.omsi.edu/

They had this great exhibit "Dinosaurs of China".
Thurston is definitely into dino's these days and was super excited to see the bones and the articulated examples. This video is me talking with him before we go it. He is so stoked!
Not only was the exhibit really neat and had great info...like...did you know that the raptor was only the size of a standard poodle? Still could do serious damage, but a lot smaller that what I had envisioned (tall male human size)
They also had this toddler to age 6 "exploritorium" room. We had a great time there learning about forest animals, sounds, tracks, how they live... Totally hands on. It was nice to give Thurston free reign to determine where he went. If you go to Portland with kids, definitely worth a visit. They also have a Planetarium and Omnimax theater.

On Sunday we went to Blake and Leah's to celebrate the girls combined birthdays.
They had a full on party with potato sack races, scavenger hunt, and ending with root beer floats. All was pretty cool! I didn't get too many photos, but I thought that Thurston and Kirin (I am not sure I am spelling his name right) had a blast "playing" football together!

One of the gifts that the girls got was modeling clay. Mayan made some awesome abstracts. I really loved them. Both girls, Mayan and Isadore are amazing. Here is a photo of Mayan with her creations.

After the party ended we hung out, ordered pizza and spent time together talking and playing with the kids. Here are some photos from that evening.

Beautiful Mayan

Baby Meat Fat

Delightful Isadore

Thurston and Oliver together. Thurston really adored Oliver. Oliver was so kind and generous. He played and played and played with Thurston through out the whole trip. Oliver really helped me with Thurston and in turn made the trip even more enjoyable for me.

This was my one photo request for the whole trip. I wanted a picture of Thurston with Chemynne and Michael. I was so glad to see them, and to hold Athena. Even better was the fact that I actually in that short time had a connection with her. I had also not seen Michael in many years and was reminded of his wonderful and kind spirit. He is a joy to spend time with.

In so many ways this has been the best vacation I have taken in a long time. I want to thank everybody for all their help, time, and energy so that this could happen for me. Traveling alone with a toddler was more scary in my mind than it turned out to be, but I attribute the support of Daena and Oliver especially since we stayed with them. Blake and Leah, special thanks to you for helping me when I had a freak out. I swear it is not the stairs going to the kitchen...although maybe we can smudge it the next time I come out ;p

The San Diego Four-Ramblings from my head

2008-08-14T00:02:00.001-07:00

I have been trying to remember the last time the four of us were all together.
We have all seen each other separately or partially together, but all four of us....
I remember Daena and I taking trips to Oakland to visit B&C.
Then I think there was the completion and publication of the book on Sofonisba and the gathering in Julian.
Possibly another gathering in Julian for B&C's mom's PhD celebration. Was that the costume event? B were you there for that? I know Daena was there, and I think C was too.
Next was wedding in Julian? Or was that before the PhD celebration?
Sadly, I think the last time we were all together was when B&C's mom was in a car accident, but I don't think we all got together, as it was too chaotic.
I should have been at C & Michael's wedding, but my own grandmother was dying at that time and I couldn't leave.
I think the last time we were all together that I can remember would have been in 1994 or 1995, as Jay and I were not married yet, but definitely together. That might mean that it has been 13 years since we all hung out in the same room? Weird. I can't believe that we have all known each other that long. I had just turned 21 when I started working at Jimbo's. Ok, freaking out....I will be coming to Portland once a year so this gap doesn't happen again.

Houses of Portland

2008-08-13T23:44:00.000-07:00

I love walking around neighborhoods no matter where I travel.
These houses are located in the Portland neighborhoods of Sullivan's Gulch & Irvington.
Our last night in Portland, Daena and Oliver were so kind to agree to go on a "trek" with Thurston and I through Irvington. We walked for 3 hours or so. On the way back we found a Gelato store, and we all indulged. As we joke in our family, we can share everything and anything, except ice cream. Got to have one for each of us. So Thurston got his own cone.
I just got to say, Portland is really beautiful. I am definitely enamoured with the homes in these areas. For those of you from San Diego, I kinda likened these areas to Hillcrest (Sullivan's Gulch) and Mission Hills (Irvington), and same kind of proximity to each other.

Thurston and Oliver having a musical time.

2008-08-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Friday night, after C, M & A left, we light the Shabbat candles....

Oliver brought out his guitar and played for quite a while. Thurston is Oliver's #1 fan these days. I couldn't resist posting this video as it is so cute, and Oliver sounds great to me.

Portland-The flight in and the 1st full day.

2008-08-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

I am happy to report to all who I cried to, that the flight to Portland with Thurston went really well. I, as an obsessive mom, was super worried about him being able to clear his ears once we got into the air. Then I was even more ridiculously worried that he would get super scared flying in the plane. As it turned out, he thought it was a blast. You would have thought he was on a ride at an amusement park!

The flight to Portland was non stop from San Diego, and took only about 2 hours. It really went smoothly with only one small toddler related melt down, that Thurston and I resolved pretty quick. Our flight was PACKED! There was also like 6 kids all on the flight, so there were many friendly and sympathetic moms on the flight.

Both of us were pretty stoked to get off the plane and we were going to meet Daena in the baggage claim area. Daena got there just as we did and the reunion was on!
Daena and Oliver have this really great, beautiful apartment in the north east section of Portland called Sullivan's Gulch. This area is so nice. It is a pretty small neighborhood by comparison, and is pretty diverse. The houses around here are all victorian or craftsman in varying states of repair. The following is a picture of the front of their apartment. Theirs is the downstairs apartment on the right. All the windows are great. The apartment has 12 foot ceilings, hardwood floors, fireplace, brand spanking new kitchen....and seeming a decent amount of storage. It is definitely a happy home!

I am also really happy to report that our first night in Portland went pretty uneventfully!
Thurston was pretty stimulated being in a new place, but on a whole went well. Although he didn't fall asleep until almost midnight, he slept fairly solidly and only woke up once and was disoriented and cried.

In the morning we hung out for a while and Oliver made me a delicious cappuccino.
They are such great hosts!
Daena wanted us to go for a late breakfast at a restaurant called Jam over on Hawthorne.
It was super yummy. I had eggs with vegetarian sausage with gravy! We even splurged and had a sassy mary. We went to the bakery across the street and got challah for Shabbat this evening. We had our breakfast with Oliver's sister Samantha, who also lives in Portland. She and I were both in the wedding and had become friendly during that time. I was really hoping to get to see her on this trip. It was so cool that we were able to hook up for a little bit of a visit.

During the early part of the afternoon we hung out at the apartment catching up, etc.
Daena needed to run a couple of errands, which we did with her and Oliver, but Thurston fell asleep in the car, so really just a car ride for us (cool enough to get a look at the city). While Daena and Oliver took care of some business, Thurston and I took some chill time and watched a little tv. Oliver made homemade ravioli's for us for dinner that were filled with a lemon/basil/ricotta filling in a red sauce and another ravioli that had a portabella mushroom filling in a bechemel sauce. Dinner was so good.

After dinner Thurston and I took a walk in the neighborhood. The following pictures are from the surrounding 4 blocks around Daena and Oliver's place. As you can tell, I just went ape taking pictures. This is only part of them! Some of the botanics are going to become my new desktop!

The last part of the day and evening included a visit from Chemynne, Michael and Athena.

It was the first time I got to see Athena. Wow! Amazing! I even got to feed her some food.

Thurston clearly was torn. He really liked Athena, but was more jealous than I have ever seen with me holding her. I wasn't prepared for that. I will post a couple of pics from that visit tomorrow. I still need to download them. C, M, and A all looked amazing and it felt so good to hug them in person. I hate that part when you realize how much you miss your friends when they live so far away.

Vegas

2008-08-08T22:59:00.001-07:00

Thurston and I recently took our first solo road trip to visit Aunt M in Las Vegas.
Thurston was a huge champ, and was tremendous on the drive both ways.

The visit was stellar. The first night was a rocky start, but went really well after that!

Thurston and Aunt M are totally in love. This has been too long since they last saw each other.
This trip as I have been processing it was totally emotional for me. Aunt M knows what I am talking about, and I feel no need to really document more than that. It was a wonderful, personal, meaningful visit.

Lego Land

2008-07-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

I have never been to LegoLand, and all I had heard was that it was good only for little kids.

I gotta disagree right now with that. If you have any kid in you, and you dug Lego's...then this place is so cool!

I will not entertain comments about me being a super geek...I already acknowledge this and EMBRACE IT!

As it turned out, a couple of months ago, I was talking with my dear friend Emily, whom I used to work with, and she was telling me that she was going to visit her sister in law in LA in July. I really wanted to see her, as she now has moved back to the Sacramento area. I also adore her daughter Baily...cute as a button I must say!

We decided that since she was coming from LA just for the day, that Thurston and I would drive up to North County and meet her there. She suggested LegoLand, and I said cool...T and I haven't been, and I hear that Thurston will really dig it. So bright and early (for us) Thurston and I set out for LegoLand on July 10th to meet up with Emily and Baily. All went smoothly and as I thought would happen, Thurston had a great time. In fact he was better than I thought he would be. I was worried that if we went on any rides, he wouldn't want to get off, and try to pitch a fit. No deal. He was totally super chill. It took a while for him and Baily to warm up to each other, but they did, and really enjoyed each other's company. Originally I thought we were going to leave the park around 3-4, as Emily had said that Baily would need to nap, but it was Thurston who conked out in his stroller, and Baily was wide awake. All four of us ended up staying in the park until about 6:30. Thurston got a great 45 min power nap in, and I got to cruise the park looking at some of the stuff that Thurston had tried to be controlling about.

Emily and I decided that we were enjoying our time together so much, and traffic would have been terrible for both of us, so we went to a bakery in Encinitas, ate dinner, visited more on a patio while the kids played and got some great quality time in together.

It was a great day. Emily...can't wait to see you and Baily next visit!

Here are some photos from the day. I had to include some of the actual lego stuff, instead of just Thurston:

The 4th of July

2008-07-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

Our 4th was super mellow.

I was really glad for that too.

Our friend Christina and her son Carson came over for playtime and lunch.

The boys love to play together. Thurston pretty much starts each day asking if he gets to play cars with Carson. Christina and I were pregnant together and the boys are only a week apart in age. We spend a lot of time together, and the boys play super well together. Any case, I made homemade pizza and we all pigged out! The boys were a whirlwind of playing and toys. They definitely wore each other out.

Nap time was eminent at the end of the play date. I even got to rest a bit too, before we went out for the next social event for the day.

When we all got up from our naps, we got on our new bikes...see previous entry...and headed over to Mike and Amy's for a late afternoon byobbq party. We had a blast, and probably drank a little too much, but we weren't driving, and had a blast. Mike and Amy have "baby" Vaughn, and their house is pretty darn baby proofed at this point, so it was totally relaxing for us to hang out. The person who really scored at the party was Thurston. He pretty much only had eyes for Kristin (sorry if I spelled your name wrong). Thurston was doing a good job of making her Fiancee, Mark, jealous. Thurston thought it was the bomb to throw a submarine and gi joe Mike and Amy have, into their jacuzzi, and make somebody fish it out for him. I couldn't resist taking pictures!!!!!!!